Sex without condom is good for mental health

26 October 2009

Having sex without using condom is good for mental health, according to a new study.
Professor Stuart Brody, of the West of Scotland University, Paisley, and his colleagues conducted the study and found that unprotected heterosexual sex can significantly boost men and women''s mental wellbeing.
On the other hand, heterosexual sex with a condom is linked to poorer mental health, the study showed.
According to Brody, mankind is biologically programmed to enjoy unprotected sex because it gives couples an evolutionary advantage and maximises the chances of reproducing.
"Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental," the Scotsman quoted Brody as saying.
The researchers studied the sexual behaviour of 99 women and 111 men in Portugal.
 They filled in questionnaires about the pleasure they derived from their sex lives and contraception use.
Using a measure of psychological health developed in Canada, Brody concluded that condom use was linked to members of the sample who exhibited problems dealing with stress.
He found that those who had unprotected sex appeared to be able to deal with stress in a more mature way by taking effective action. They also had better mental health.
However, his conclusions have been criticised by sexual health campaigners, who warned that unsafe sex leads to unwanted pregnancies and diseases.
Tony Kerridge of Marie Stopes International, the leading sexual health and reproductive health organisation, said: "I would have thought that the mental health of anyone would be tested if they found out they had a sexually transmitted disease or that there was an unwanted pregnancy.
"Particularly in the case of casual relationships where there is no desire to get pregnant, advice should always be that condoms should be used," Kerridge added.
The study has been published in the academic journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.


Secret behind passionate kiss revealed

Ummmms’ and ‘aaahhhs’ are not the only co-partners of kissing, for a passionate lip-lock unleashes a chain of chemical changes that really turn your head, claims a new study.
As Valentine's Day approaches, Wendy Hill, professor of psychology at Lafayette College, Pennsylvania has taken the opportunity to shed light on that most basic of all human expressions of love – the smooch.
In her study, Wendy has found that a meeting of lips can spark a complex chemical surge into the brain that makes a lover feel excited, happy or relaxed. Also, it is being speculated that the hormone release may be triggered directly by an exchange of sexually stimulating pheromones in the saliva.
“This study shows kissing is much more complex and causes hormonal changes and things we never thought occurred,” The Times quoted her, as saying. “We tend to think more about who we are kissing and how it feels, yet there are a lot of other things happening,” she added.
To reach the conclusion, the research team looked at the impact of kissing on levels of two hormones, oxytocin and cortisol, in 15 male-female couples before and after holding hands and before and after kissing.
Oxytocin is known to be involved in social bonding so the researchers predicted that its levels would rise, while cortisol, a stress hormone, would fall. The results showed cortisol levels fell in both sexes, although oxytocin levels rose in men but fell in women.


Decode your lover's body language

No matter where you bump into your eye candy - at a friend's house, at a bar, a restaurant or even in the midst of a crowded market, the questions remain the same: "What on Earth is he/she thinking? Does he/she really like me? Do I stand a chance?"
But do you know that men and women both are pre-programmed to send out physical clues when they're interested in the opposite sex? A huge advantage of becoming aware of your love interest's body language is that you can now read her mind and predict their next move. Here's how you can understand body language clues...
Her Body
Eye Contact : It all starts with an eye lock, doesn't it? Eyes telegraph unspoken messages and the female species definitely knows how to use this part of their body to their advantage. "I use this trick when I want to attract a guy's attention and no matter how clich├ęd it sounds, this trick always works!" says Sunaina Sharma, a student. "My first interaction with my wife started through eye contact. She was sitting with her friends on a staircase in college and I was a newcomer. It won't be wrong to say that she literally used her eyes as weapons to trap the prey (me)!" shares Prabhu a corporate executive.
Hot tip : "An eye contact can vary from curiosity, cool assessment to a coy interest in someone. When a girl makes eye contact that lasts longer than a furtive glance, it is a positive move on her part. If a girl looks deeply into a guy's eyes, she's telling him that he's the most charming person in the room. However, a full frontal stare is risky. It may come across as too bold to those men who get freaked out by direct behavior by a woman," says Dr. Upadhyaya.
Exposing : Yes, we know that most women love indulging in skin show, but here we're talking about a particular area: their long and smooth neck. "There was a girl in my office who was infamous for indulging in sex talks with male colleagues. She would always sit with her hair on one side of her shoulder, revealing her slender and perfumed neck. In fact, some of her friends told me once that she purposely did this as she felt it made her look sexy and was a nice way of luring someone for dirty talks," reveals Shailja Thakur, a business analyst.
Hot tip : "When you're reading a woman's body gestures, observe if she tosses her hair over one shoulder frequently. If your answer is in the affirmative, then be assured that the lady has fallen hard for you," says Dr. Akhouri. "It's an indirect act of submission and it not only exposes your neck, but also screams for attention," he adds.
Leg Crossing : The next time you get the chance to sit with your eye candy, observe her leg movements very carefully. While crossing her legs, if her top leg always points in your direction, treat it as a win-win situation. "I personally feel that a woman's whole personality changes as soon as she crosses her legs... it creates a goddess-like aura around her. On my last date, the girl sat with her legs crossed sexily all through the date and occasionally rubbed her thighs. Not only did I got broad hints, but it also was a big turn on for me," says Manu Vohra, a marketing manager.
Hot tip : According to Dr. Upadhyaya., "Leg crossing is suggestive of a nervous or provocative gesture. Often, woman can't help crossing their legs in front of the guy they have the hots for. It is a subconscious gesture that clearly says a man is getting on to her."
Arm Crossing : Crossing of arms by a woman has numerous meanings. "The receptionist in my old office used to sit with her hands and legs crossed every time I was around. Initially, I thought her to be an arrogant lass, but it was only when she asked me out one day that I realised what that meant," says Sagarmani Dhakal, a corporate executive. "The best way to highlight your assets in front of a man is to cross your hands right below your chest and the guy is bound to notice you!," suggests Puja Khanna, a marketing executive. "Whenever I want something more from a guy than just talking and shopping, this is the trick that I apply," she quips.
Hot tip : "Crossed arms signal a woman's vulnerability and it can also be a way of telling a guy that she doesn't like him and doesn't want him around at all. Crossing of arms over her chest is also a clever way of drawing attention towards her assets," explains Dr. Upadhyaya.
Leaning : If you catch your ladylove practically leaning towards your shoulders most of the times she's around you, there is very little chance that she is not madly in love with you! "I went with my colleague for a movie and throughout the film, I could feel her hair on my neck and shoulders. The hint was enough for me to understand that I wasn't a mere colleague for her anymore," says Sunny Kudav, a programmer.
So the next time you want your guy to know he means a lot to you, just put your head on his shoulder, close your eyes and relax! "When my husband and I were just friends, and wanted to graduate to the level of lovers, I kept dropping hints like these. I would quietly lean over his body and say nothing. I wanted him to know that I was dependent on him and that his company was soothing and that life without him would now be difficult," says Shailja Sharma, a housewife.
Hot tip : "There is nothing more pleasurable than to make your love confession indirectly to your man. If a woman leans on a man, it's a sign of acceptance. It means she thinks the guy is dependable and trustworthy. She has found in you her dream man," tells Dr. Akhouri.
Eyebrow flash : Pay attention to your crush's eyebrows the next time you meet him, for this gesture can convey his likeability for you. "Whether you walk the corridor of a corporate office or go shopping in a crowded street, you will find at least a dozen men staring at you with their raised eyebrows. This gesture is too obvious to go unnoticed," says Drishika Chowdhry, a model.
Hot tip : "When the person we're attracted to comes before us, our first reaction is that of raising our eyebrows", says Dr. Pramod Upadhyaya. "It lasts about a fifth of a second and it happens to everyone," he adds.
He's checking out your body : His eyes take a tour of your body, stopping for a moment to scan the sexiest parts. "Guys do this all the time. I remember a guy from final year whom I dated for a couple of months. He would make it a point to scan my body as soon as I entered the class. And the strangest part was that he would want to me see his act," holds Ritu Rauthan, an MCA student. "If one wants to end up in bed with a girl, he needs to throw strong signals and the best way to do it is to let her see you when you are exploring every part of her body with your eyes," says Vishal Khandelwal, a web designer.
Hot tip : "When a guy lets you see him checking out your body, it's a way of indirectly telling the opposite sex: 'I'm considering you as a sexual partner'," says Dr.Tapas K Akhouri, a body language trainer.
His hands are on your body : This means the guy is subconsciously drawing your attention to his assets. Whichever part a man aims at is the most meaningful part to him. "My boyfriend used to position his chest towards me while talking and sometimes he would put his hands in his back pockets and walk. When we grew close he told me that these were the areas where he loves my touch the most," says Anu, a hotel receptionist.
Hot tip : "Guys generally do this to highlight their physical size and body confidence," mentions Dr. Upadhyaya. "Men point at their best sexual assets and at the parts of the body where they would most like to be touched. For example, if during a conversation, he stands with his hands on his hips, he wants you to touch and admire his bottom," he adds.
He'll start playing with circular objects : Ever wondered why? They remind him of a woman's assets. "My best friend had a habit of fiddling with rolled magazines, newspapers, paper weights and any round object he could lay his hands upon, whenever we were together. Once he caught me in private and tried to get physical. I was bewildered. Later I read about this body language cue in a magazine and realized what his gestures meant. He always had sexual thoughts on his mind," says Priya, (name changed on request), a BPO worker.
Hot tip : "Men sometimes start playing with round objects while talking to the girl they have a liking for. They may squeeze a glass or start rolling it. The reason being their sexual inclination towards that particular girl," explains Dr. Upadhyaya.
He touches his face a lot : One of the ways in which a man's body speaks of his ardent feelings is the way he touches his ears, rubs his chin and pats his cheeks with the back of his fingers in front of his lady love. "I touch my face and neck quite a lot in front of the girls I have the hots for. It is something that happens involuntarily with me...mostly when I am nervous," says Jitender Bharadwaj, a BPO employee.
Hot tip : "It's a mix of nervousness and excitement. Attraction is a dangerous matter and our body can knowingly or unknowingly reveal it in ways that are quite unfamiliar to most of us. Out lips and mouth become sensitive to touch and other stimulations," says Dr. Akhouri.


Comfort zones for sex

24 October 2009

If boredom is setting into your relationship and causing doldrums in your sex life, it's time to shed your inhibitions and get more experimental to enhance sexual pleasure.
While you may have already indulged in different kinds of love-making with your partner, it's important to ensure the right settings to make the most of a night of passion. Be it the bedroom ambiance, surrounding items, lighting, aroma or anything that helps boosting your sexual desire, the decor of the room must be in accordance with your mood and the kind of sex you want to indulge in.
Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma elucidates, "Sex is a natural need for all human beings. But there has to be appropriate arousal for a night of passion and the environment, ambience and bedroom settings play a major role is stimulating your sexual hormones. Just like we eat when we are hungry, similarly, there has to be a sex drive and a physical desire to make you indulge in sex and it come from various things in the pleasure playground."
Couples indulge in sex for various reasons. Some want to experiment and try out new things in bed, while others love seeing their partner experience heights of pleasure. There are others too who love pampering their partner through diverse forms of sex.
Here are various settings that can enhance your sexual camaraderie.
Create an innovative environment during experimental sex
As the name suggests, an experiment signifies something creative and out-of-box, so it could be a wild sexual stint. Couples opting for experimental sex aim to bring back the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. No matter how long they've been into their relationship, there is a need to have an Earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert suggests, "When it's about being experimental, try out just about everything. From the sofa to the floor, living room to the kitchen, bathtub to the garden, let your imagination take over completely. Enacting a porn star or a pole dancer act could take your spouse by surprise. Having meals in a semi-clad state will ignite your partner's erotic side. Keep sexual props like whips, chains, pompoms and streamers handy to add to the mood."
Pamper your beau during make-up sex
Make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of an ugly argument, so if you had a gut-wrenching fight with your spouse, there can be nothing better than indulging in a sexual reconciliation. While the act gives you several chances to say 'sorry' to your partner, don't forget the right ambiance is e a blessing in disguise. Not only it will make your partner feel pampered, but also let you gradually descend towards a sex romp.
DO IT RIGHT : Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma adds, "Keep a nice musical show piece, preferably a couple doing ball dance, alongside the bed that makes a chiming sound to add to the soothing aroma that you wished to create. Also, a lavish chandelier placed right above your bed can create the right combination of light and shadow. Also, decorate the room with flowers, place some surprise gifts for your partner, use satin bed sheets, heart shaped pillows etc that create a perfect atmosphere that makes your partner forget the fight and enjoy the sexual gratification."
Keep it simple foe necessary sex
Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good
about your sexual prowess. A sexual act that most couples perform as a vital part of a long-term relationship can also lead to special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift your sagging spirits.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita says, "Just keep the settings simple. Stick to a conventional bedroom setting with a nice bed sheet and some scented candles boosting your sexual desires. A prolonged foreplay in or outside the bedroom area can gear you up for a gratifying act in bed. Indulge in a quick session of reading the Kamasutra to master new sex positions or watch a porn film together to set the mood for such 'necessary' sexual experiences. Remember, wearing saucy lingerie can also hit the right spot to woo your partner."
Sex on my mind on vacation
When it's about a sexual getaway, forget all domestic anxieties back home, as carrying them along will only decrease your sexual pleasure. Plan to have sex in a romantic locale that allows you to rediscover each another in a new light. Leave your laptop behind, turn the cell phone off and relax to make the sex better.
DO IT RIGHT : Gitanjali explains, "The perfect settings for recreational sex includes first indulging in a candlelit dinner with the right mix of aphrodisiacal food and wine, which you normally do not consume at home. A salsa dance session can further evoke your erotic senses, coupled with some sexual images placed appropriately on the walls of your room. Ideally try and opt for a room with a romantic or spectacular view of a lake or a mountain."
Bring vigour back during solace sex
Sex, undeniably, is the best remedy when you are feeling miserable, dejected, anguished or lonely. Sexual acts to relieve your tensions are more emotional, more engaging and possibly more expressive and thus the focus is more on cuddling, rather than on climaxing. Since couples look forward to intensifying their bond, the ambience during solace sex can really make a difference. Forget the regular bed; why not try it out in the bathtub?
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita agrees, "Use scented warm water, adding rose petals to set the mood, Furthermore, a hot shower together with your partner stimulates the sex hormones and also gives a chance for intimate moments. Lastly, a sensuous massage either with a chocolate spa or aroma oils can help in calming your tensed mind and thus giving you more comforting pleasure."
Keep it private for racy sex (one night stands)
Most couples would deny this, but love takes a backseat and it's the lust that comes to the forefront during a racy one-night stand. The lack of emotional attachment makes it easier for couples to climax.
DO IT RIGHT : There is something wildly erotic about the back seat of your car, or a dark stair case when you are in the throes of a quickies. The stimulation from the fear that you maybe caught red-handed leads to a lot more of experimentation, including oral stimulation. Get down and dirty, throw back your latent inhibitions and perk up the pleasure.


Myths about low sexual desire

There are lots of moments in life when you seem to be the only one craving for sex and your partner just doesn't seem interested enough.
Most couples have faced this situation sometime or another in their sexual life even as the sex nosedives and vanishes for days/months and in worst case scenarios maybe even for years. Learning to recognise the symptoms behind a low sex drive helps to get out of the sticky situation. Here are the most common myths about your low sexual levels:
Myth 1: Too much stress leads to low sex drive
Banker Rohit Khanna complained about high stress levels to his partner. "I was having a tough time with my boss in office. That affected my interest in sex, but Aradhana just wouldn't understand. We ended up fighting, with my wife accusing me that I just wasn't interested in her anymore and I was put off by the thought of indulging in sex with her. Finally, we both had to visit a counselor who helped us see the problem for what it was. It was also a time when I had begun to doubt my own sexual prowess. So yes, it was extremely traumatic."
Beat it: Psychologist Poornima Adhikari explains, "Couples often go through high and low phases in their sexual desires. It could be triggered off by anything and stress is most often one of the major reasons for a lack luster sexual life. The hectic lifestyle of today bears ugly aftermaths and thus couples must figure out ways to de-stress. They should look into common areas of interest that help them bond and find happiness together. And talking about your problems is a great way of lowering high stress levels. So communicate, take out time even if it's just 10 minutes every day to talk about things that are troubling you."
Myth 2: Women's low libido are governed by her hormones
Shraddha Singh, a hotel executive reveals that men often believe that hormones regulate a woman's intrinsic moods and desires. "Anand, my husband always fought with me when I told him that I just didn't want to have sex today. He inevitably blamed it on my hormonal levels, saying that women were victims of their hormones. But that's such a huge misconception. Our hormones are just like our male counterparts too." She adds, "Often, a low libido is caused by eating habits, fatigue, not enough sleep and many more physiological factors. Also it's about our mental health."
Beat it: Adhikari points out that low sex drive in women often stems from how they feel about themselves and how they view their relationship with their partner. So when women complain about a low sex drive, their partners need to make them feel good about themselves. Couples need to sit together and work out how on to improve their existing relationship. The woman must be going through some kind of complex feelings that need to be detangled to take the relationship forward at a physical level.
Myth 3: Medications help to boost low sex drive
According to Dr Swaroop Pandit, Anshuman Hospital, a dip in sexual levels is often
caused by circumstances men/women face which causes physiological and psychological changes in the body. "Often patients seek an immediate solution but it takes time to make them realise that there isn't any immediate cure. It’s better if they could see it very objectively rather then losing sleep over it. It’s important to realise that medications can sometimes have just the opposite effect. So, what is important is to seek out the root of the problem, whether it’s physical, psychological or any other. That is half the fight done."
Beat it: Psychoanalyst Sushant Chauhan points out, "Medication should always be kept as the last option. Patients can often be cured by simply addressing their problems. And more than men, its women today who complain about their low sex drive. There are women who are traumatised by the balancing act that they have to deliver everyday by looking into both their professional and personal lives, so at times they almost give sex a miss. Women also get involved with their children once they become mothers so it takes a while to get back their normal drive. What it requires is some patience, a lot of love and time. These factors can go a long way to cure the fears and inhibitions you have."
Myth 4: Sexual drive works in isolation to our body
Business analyst Deepak Sharma experienced a phase of low libido. Stricken by panic attacks and running to and fro between seeing doctors and meeting deadlines worsened the case. A chain smoker, his smoking consequently saw a heady increase. "I was totally losing control. I was embarrassed to talk about my low libido with my peers and I just didn't know what was happening to me. Some said I should visit a doctor, some said I should try out herbal medication. I was just not in a position to realise what was causing it. I began to drink steadily along with smoking, often going without meals. And all the time I was thinking how everyone saw me as this loser," confesses Sharma.
Beat it: "This is definitely a cause and effect situation. Men are known to give their sexual drive a lot of importance, so it's very natural for them to react in this manner. Men, in India are a shy lot and very rarely come out to address problems until they are pushed by their partners or family members. Firstly, be clear that it doesn’t matter that you are experiencing a low libido level. However, once you face such a predicament, do not aggravate the problem by smoking and so on. It is a fact that smoking can cause impotency, but many people still do not view this as a major problem. So if you are a smoker, kick the habit. If you drink too often, start counting your drinks. Reshuffling your lifestyle, taking a holiday, pursuing interesting hobbies often leads to reinstating your drive," says Chauhan.
Myth 5: High sexual life is equivalent to a good emotional intimacy
Quite often we are taken over by a secure emotional intensity that we share with our partner. And we take that as a guarantee for a fulfilling sex life. Like Shweta Trikha, a struggling model, reveals, "I found a lot of emotional succor from my partner, especially because of the competitiveness that pervaded my work life. He made me feel like we are best friends and nothing could be better then this. But our sexual life was losing its zing. And I didn't know how to get it back on track. Despite drawing so much security from each other, we saw that we were losing steam in bed. That was the time when I hit the alarm bell."
Beat it: Adhikari explains, "Couples often experience moments when everything is going right for them emotionally, except that they are unable to feel a sexual desire for each other. So, instead of getting overwhelmed, go easy. A way out is not to think about having sex and scoring highly in the act. Instead start by just being playful. Forget about doing anything that is normal; instead think of ways to make yourself feel sexy and desired by your beau. The best solution is to feel desired for desire to take precedence in your love life."
Myth 6: If your partner wants to have sex and you don't, then you can make up by showing love in other ways
college-goer Amit Nagpal, "I faced this problem with my girlfriend. We would often have these dry spells where we didn't touch each other for months even as my girl craved it. I would try to make up for my low sex drive by showering her with gifts, telling her how much I loved her almost all the time. But there was no satisfying her. She complained about not kissing, hugging and I just couldn't explain that I didn't feel like getting physically intimate. Finally there came a time when I decided to give her a break."
Beat it: "This is a problem that is very common, but never understood. Every couple shares a different chemistry, but it is important to touch and feel each other. Especially for married couples, because even if you try to show your love in other ways, it can't compensate for lack of physical closeness. The physical aspect is more important and can't t be replaced by any other act. So it's best to say that you are facing a problem, instead of trying to hide it by resorting to other means to display love," explains Chauhan.
Myth 7: Low libido makes you less desirable
This is a prevalent misconception that can scar the psyche of a person permanently. Fashion designer Sonal Lal, says," I was engaged to be married, but during our courtship period, I just couldn't do get physical with my fiance. Every time he suggested sex, I refused his overtures as I was unable to feel any physical longing for him. This went on till he broke off the engagement complaining that I was cold and frigid and undesirable. The experience hurt so much that I kept away from men for a long time post my broken engagement. And whenever anyone tried to cosy up with me, I shied away being afraid of being rejected all over again."
Beat It: Explains Chauhan that no individual has the right to abuse their partner who may be facing these problems. "Yes, it happens that we might not feel attracted to the person we have planned to marry. It's important to question the basis of your relationship with your prospective partner then, rather then taking the blame on yourself. As discussed, there could be problems beyond the periphery of normal understanding. And desire stems from feeling good about yourself. First develop a positive image about yourself," adds Chauhan.
Myth 8: Sex is the only thing in a relationship
Gautam Nirula, a sales executive says, "I was always told by my friends that a relationship is based on sex. Thus, when I got married, I concentrated on that. However what I failed to understand was that sex depends on a lot of factors. I always wanted sex and my wife kept on refusing me. And instead of understanding her predicament, I remained angry with her. This resulted in a distance between the two of us. Only when elders interfered and counselled me, I realized what was going wrong. Today; I feel that emotional compatibility, trust and faith in each other make the foundation on which great sex is built."
Beat it: Explains Adhikari, "Married couples need to go beyond sex to get it right in bed. If you harbour anger or resentment about your partner you can't enjoy a gratifying sexual life. Often it's the emotional closeness that is most required. When couples come to me I advise them not to think about their physical needs. Instead they are advised to look out for the things they like/love about each other. And develop their bond from there onwards. They need to concentrate on the positives than seeing the negatives. This helps them to get your passion back.


9 mantras to reclaim your sex life

If the credit crunch managed to limp your sex life last year, then here are nine tips from an expert to help restore those lost charms in the bedroom.

Dr. Ian Kerner, a New York City-based sex therapist, said that recession had taken its toll on people in general who were subsequently “having less sex”. "Fifty million people are stuck in a sex rut. The economy inhibits a person's libido because they feel stressed and depressed,” Fox News quoted Kerner as saying.

The author of Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parent's Guide to Getting It on Again has proposed nine ways to help those looking to give a boost to their passion.

Here are nine ways to reclaim your sex life:

1. Just go ahead with it: “It might sound silly, but just have more sex. Your mind has become habituated to not having sex, so it’s hard to break out of it. You have to reconnect.”

2. Connect with each other: “You can’t just turn sex on when it’s time to go to bed.You need to build that sense of connection."

3. Stay positive: “Studies show that for couples to boost their sex life, they have to be positive. It’s easy to go home and talk about mortgages and bills, but if it leads to a negative cycle of communication, figure out a positive form of communication.”

4. Prioritise your relationship: “Couples are spending more time on Facebook and blogs. The next thing you know it’s 11:30 p.m. and it’s too late for sex. There’s no urgent need to check your BlackBerry — your relationship has to be a priority.”

5. Adopt and maintain a healthy lifestyle: "It's easy to binge at the end of December with the holiday eating and drinking. Get healthy and remain healthy. It will increase your sex drive and exercise will boost your self-esteem, which is crucial to enjoying sex."

6. Reveal fantasies: “In sex, you often do the same things, rely on the same moves. Share a fantasy. Or, if you feel your partner is lacking in attentiveness, instead of criticising, express it in a sexy way.”

7. Lend a helping hand: “A lot of women aren’t interested in sex because they have other things on their minds like chores, dirty dishes and men can’t always appreciate that aspect. If men help and create an environment where women want to have sex, that’s really important.”

8. Be honest: “One of the benefits of being in a relationship is that sex isn’t perfect — guys are subject to their issues, women are subject to theirs. If in ’08 you were saying something didn’t matter, (maybe) it does in ’09. Sex changes from year to year and ’09 is a new year.”

9. Create the right environment, ‘the love nest’: “Put a little more energy into your surroundings. Create a surrounding that appeals to your senses.”


SEO, Google And Sex

22 October 2009

Tel Aviv ---- October 21, 2009 ..... The following parody is a cute tale of SEO, Google and sex which may have it creative origins in India. A magical place where thousands are employed for only a few dollars and whose mission is to attract both reader and search engine using any means they can. These busy Indian optimizers use a variety of legal spam methods, including employing the word sex to attract. Sex is the number one searched word on the Net with over 582,000,000 pages coming up on Google.
Even The New York Times has worked to ensure that its site and search results are incredibly Google friendly, so Google friendly in fact that a recent search for “sex” on Google currently serves the NY Times internal archive search results for sex as #2.

In the story below, notice how often the word sex is used, along with the words Google and SEO. But what really made us smile in writing and editing this story was how organized and creative the writer was. He didn't just throw out some words hoping that some literally trash would stick to the search engines. For it remains the creative balance between good and interesting content and the optimization of that content which makes today's Internet Web and news author relevant.

SEO or search engine optimization is a term widely used in Internet marketing. It is quite useful for any Website in Israel, New York, London, Paris, China or India for increasing traffic, sales and services. It is crucial for any site to achieve its optimum ranking results in Google, Yahoo and numbers of other search engines.
SEO is the process of increasing the volume and traffic to a web site from various search engines by increasing organically the search results for targeted keywords. Usually, the earlier a site is presented in the search results or the higher it “ranks”, the more searchers will visit that site. SEO can also target different kinds of search, including image search, local search, and industry-specific vertical search engines.

Now, what is sex?
I think there is no need for the explanation of this term because it is the most searched term on the Internet. Everyone knows about sex and its importance for stability, sensation and satisfaction in life. So, it is referred to as a basic need. In the same way as SEO is critical for your site.

Why SEO and sex is important? SEO is important for the instant growth of your business. If you are not ranking well in the search engines then it can help you in various ways. It will enhance your site traffic. Traffic will increase your sales and services as you penetrate the market.

If you rank well, you may even establish a brand name in your specific market.

Sex is a sensation which is most important for a healthy, happy and peaceful life. A greater satisfaction may increase your thinking and coolness in life. If you enjoy healthy sex on a daily basis then it can enhance many other aspects of your life.

For ultimate satisfaction, a healthy sex life is important. In the same manner with SEO if you secure more organic traffic results on Google then the greater will be your satisfaction.

With a more natural and open approach as to your involvement in sex, the more powerful the sensation. In the same perspective as when you get a boom in business then naturally powerful results may fill you with sensation.
There are various similarities between SEO and sex.
But there are some differences which makes SEO better than sex. Well friends, I am going through the alphabetical approach to describe how SEO and sex is similar and dissimilar.

Both create sensation. SEO and sex both create intimacy and boundless sensations. SEO is a sensational thing for any Website and sex generates sensation through physical intercourse. As I stated above - SEO brings traffic to a site organically or naturally and sex creates sensation in the orgasm and in the human body by a natural phenomenon.
Both are organic functions - although both can be paid for. But please, do not confuse Google Adwords with prostitution. Although both may be optimized through the use of keywords.

As traffic increases for a site it brings new customers and increases business for the company or organization behind the site. In a similar way, as the climax during sex increases the pleasure increases. So, traffic for a site may be simulated with the orgasmic climax in sex.
Expertise is needed. In both cases an expert may generate wonderful results.
An SEO expert can manage the site for Google and Yahoo rankings well in the SERPs and secure increased traffic to the site. It is the tactics based on extensive professional marketing knowledge, social networking (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, blogs), Web 2.0, viral marketing, PR and the practice of the SEO expert by which he or she can have a site ranked high in a very short time for targeted traffic. A practice which can work quicker and stay stronger than Viagra!

In a similar way, an expert in sex can generate more pleasure than a new member. He or she may know about the right sexual positions, time and the procedure to follow which can increase organic results and pleasurable sensation in the body.
Optimization is critical. Here is where SEO differs from sex because the word sex does not contain the letter “O”. SEO is the process of optimizing search results by using the professional knowledge of an SEO professional.
Professional SEO services will increase the optimum results day by day. But in the case of sex a human having more sex may lessen his or her interest and stamina with time.
Then we have the X - Factor. The “X Factor” refers to the indefinable“something” that makes one thing better than other. SEO is the process of making an “O”rdinary site into an e“X”tra ordinary site so the X letter is silent in SEO in this way. So, here is the difference or X - factor which differs SEO from sex and makes SEO more potent than sex.
Well friends, SEO has an extra silent X which proves that it is better than sex.
Now let's examine excessive linking in SEO and excess of sex.

Excessive means “exceeding a normal, usual, reasonable, or proper limit”. Linking which means “to become connected with or as if with a HTML link”.
Google released their guidelines on Link Scheme and below one can find violations of Google’s Webmaster blackhat practices that can negatively impact your site’s ranking in search results.

One must be wary of links intended to manipulate PageRank. Links to web spammers or bad neighborhoods on the web. Excessive reciprocal links or excessive link exchanging such as "link to me and I’ll link to you." Buying or selling links that pass PageRank are also forbidden.
Excessive linking may harm your site SEO Google search results and authority. When you link excessively the search engines will stop counting them when evaluating your authority.
Now in the case of sex the result is the same.

Excess sex may be harmful to your health. Some health care providers say that excess of sexual activity can put an extra strain on your heart, especially if your heart is already weak from a heart attack or heart disease. There is an exception to this rule when it comes to prostate cancer where recent research indicates that daily sex and or masturbation may actually reduce incidence of this cancer by up to one third. And that daily sex for females may actually act as a catalyst for them to perform more domestic chores. Please do not slay the messenger here for these recent news developments.

Now for our professional assessment of the effect of no SEO and no sex.
If a site owner has no SEO then he may loose an opportunity to increase his or her business. And the site and owner may worry about other tactics which may be far more expensive for him or her. And he or she may go for paid or sponsored referrals such as Google Adwords - or sponsored links. And he or she may loose the opportunity to secure customers naturally.

These men are optimized but not for the Internet. The INA cautions all males athletes from taking part in sex before participating in sports. This is due to endorphins being released from the male's brain during sex. Research does indicate that endorphins have little or no affect on SEO, social networking, Web 2.0 or Internet marketing practices.

In the same way in the case of no sex the life of a human being may become random and full of dissatisfaction. We only recommend no sex activity in sports for male athletes about to set Olympic records in track and field, basketball, football, soccer, tennis, skiing, baseball, cricket, swimming, hockey and shooting. Sex is a basic need so its fulfillment is necessary for a healthy and peaceful life.

The concept for the above news story was found on the Web from SEO experts in India. We from the Israel News Agency spent hours correcting grammatical mistakes but must give credit to our busy friends in India for their unending, relentless enthusiasm and non-verbal Web creativity.

If you care for more information on SEO or sex, you may check out the following websites: Israel (English), Israel SEO (Hebrew) or New York SEO Pr. Or you can take a relaxing and sensual trip with us to India in the near future!


Up your sex life with Feng Shui

21 October 2009

For you to have great sex, you need to not only be in the mood but your immediate surrounding, which is your bedroom should be in tip-top Couple shape.

In a good feng shui bedroom, every item will reflect the clear intent for love, healing and relaxation.

A good feng shui bedroom is one that promotes a harmonious flow of nourishing and sensual energy. It invites you, lures you in, excites and calms at the same time. It is fun and pleasurable to be in, either you are there for a quick nap, a good night sleep or to make passionate love! Says Feng Shui Master Mohan Deep, “Relationships can be treated by correcting the energies of the bedroom. Since the bedroom is all about peace, harmony, love and passion, the right Feng Shui enhances the relationship and over the years I have seen that Feng Shui corrections have saved several marriages. Right environment including colours and the position of the bed do the trick. In fact the way a bedroom looks gives me an insight into the state of a couples marriage."

To create a good feng shui bedroom, you can use a variety of simple, practical feng shui tools, such as these:

Pure air: Open the windows often or use a good quality air-purifier to keep the air fresh and full of oxygen. Be mindful of the quality of air in your bedroom. You cannot have good feng shui in your bedroom if the air you breathe in is stale and full of pollutants. Please note that plants in the bedroom are not good feng shui, unless your bedroom is fairly large and the plants are located far from the bed.

Light effects: Have several levels of lighting in your bedroom, or use a dimmer switch to adjust the energy accordingly. Good, appropriate lighting is very important, as light is our number one nutrient and one of the strongest manifestations of energy. Candles are the best feng shui bedroom lighting, but be sure to buy candles with no toxins.

No electronics: Let go of the TV, computer or exercise equipment in your bedroom. The good feng shui energy in your bedroom is destroyed when these items are present in your bedroom.

Colour me good: Use soothing colors to achieve a good feng shui balance. A positive bedroom decor is a balanced one that promotes the best flow of energy for restorative sleep, as well as sexual healing. Best feng shui colours for the bedroom are considered the so-called ‘skin colours’, and we know the colours of human skin vary from pale white to rich chocolate brown. Choose colours within this range that will work best for your bedroom decor.

Image wise: Choose the images for your bedroom wisely, as images carry powerful feng shui energy. Best feng shui advice for the bedroom art is to choose images that you want to see happening in your life. Unless you enjoy being sad and lonely, do not use sad and lonely images in your bedroom.

Shut the world out: Keep all the bedroom doors closed at night, be it the closet doors, the en-suite bathroom door or the bedroom door. This will allow for the best and most nourishing flow of energy to strengthen your health, as well as the health of your relationship.

Follow these basic feng shui guidelines for your bed:

• Have your bed easily approachable from both sides
• Have two bedside tables (one on each side)
• Avoid having the bed in a direct line with the door
• A good looking and well-balanced bed is very important in creating a perfect feng shui bedroom. Good mattress, solid headboard and high quality sheets from natural fibers are also very important in creating harmonious feng shui energy.



A heart attack can affect your sex life

20 October 2009

If you have cardiovascular disease or have had a heart attack, you may have some concerns about sex.
For instance, men with heart disease may experience erectile dysfunction. Erections depend on the arteries that supply blood to the penis, so it makes sense that atherosclerosis is the most common cause of impotence. But high blood pressure, abnormal cholesterol levels, diabetes, and smoking — all leading cardiac risk factors — also increase a man's risk for impotence.

Research does show that cardiac problems can increase in the hour or two after sexual intercourse, but in reality, the risk is very, very low — even for people who've had heart attacks already. It's about as safe as walking up two flights of stairs. Studies also show that regular exercise markedly reduces the risk for heart attack during or soon after sexual activity.

Some people have angina during sexual activity. If this happens, you should tell your doctor. Doctors often recommend that people in this situation take nitrates before sex to avoid this problem.



Emotions good for women's sex lives

16 October 2009

Women with high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a new study.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor and manage emotions in oneself and others.
The study by a research team at King's College London showed that those with greater EI had more orgasms. It also suggests that low EI is a risk factor for female orgasmic disorder.
"These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom. This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," the Independent quoted Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London and co-author of the study, as saying.
For the study, a total of 2,035 female volunteers from the TwinsUK registry were recruited, ranging in age from 18 to 83.
The registry consists of adult twins who agreed to take part in studies to investigate the causes of common disorders. Using twins makes it possible to disentangle genetic and environmental risk factors.
All participants completed questionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and also answered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.
Researchers found a significant association between EI and frequency of orgasm both during masturbation and sexual intercourse.
Women in the bottom 25 percent of the emotional intelligence range had twice the normal risk of infrequent orgasm.
Lead author, psychologist Andrea Burri, also from King's College, said: "Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.
She also said that there was a possible association with a woman's ability to fantasise during sex.
"Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner," said Burri.
The results of the study appear in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.


Refreshing your sex life

According to a latest report, slow lovemaking is the new mantra to renew your sex life. No matter how fun loving or aggressive is your partner, slow and steady always wins the race.
Originally developed by sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated.
However the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction.
The benefits of sensate focus are discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover's body, as well as your own.
These exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement.
With such pleasuring exercises couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another.
According to Fox News, couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play.
This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses.
When pursuing sensate focus exercises, set aside at least 60 uninterrupted minutes in a warm bedroom and one may even enhance the setting with soothing music and candles.
If it helps, take a bath (or anything else that relaxes you). Take your time, over several "dates," and finally get on with the sessions.
Sensate focus sex could establish new ways of relating to each other and partners may find themselves having some of the best sex of their lives.


Tips to seduce your woman

Sydney's famous writer Sam de Brito, in his new book 'Building a Better Bloke', has admitted that he has had his share of dud dates - because his past approach to dating involved getting drunk.

However he confessed that he has made a few adjustments when it comes to luring the opposite sex. And he has urged other men to do the same in his new book.

"I'm not trying to teach men how to be a pick-up artist or a stud, I want to show men how to build self-esteem, build a life for themselves - which in turn will attract women," the Courier Mail quoted Brito, as saying.

Brito's generation has lost the art of communicating with women. "Guys have fallen through the cracks. We like to think of men as bold and confident and a lot of them aren't," he said.

He said that for some, the biggest fear in life is approaching and striking up a conversation with a woman. In this case, he has suggested practice and a sense of humour is the key. The catch phrase of his book is: "Find a life and you'll find love". "The biggest thing is not to look cool, but to have a life with lots of interests. Get involved in your life, look after yourself, and you're primed to meet someone," he said.

He said that good manners and keeping clean are also important. "Be a gentleman. Respect yourself. Even if you're funny and charming, you're not going to get far with a woman if you smell," he said.

Besides clean sheets and clean fingernails, Building a Better Bloke also reminds men of the simple things, like holding a door open for women.

So here he suggests ten tips to lure a woman:

Stay healthy

Don't abuse alcohol or drugs

Have a job that means something to you

Be busy with your own activities

Be well groomed and clean

Have a sense of humour

Talk to women as individuals, not as a gender

Be a gentleman

Don't mix with loser friends

Have a clean bedroom, clean sheets - and a lamp to create romantic lighting


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