Comfort zones for sex

If boredom is setting into your relationship and causing doldrums in your sex life, it's time to shed your inhibitions and get more experimental to enhance sexual pleasure.
While you may have already indulged in different kinds of love-making with your partner, it's important to ensure the right settings to make the most of a night of passion. Be it the bedroom ambiance, surrounding items, lighting, aroma or anything that helps boosting your sexual desire, the decor of the room must be in accordance with your mood and the kind of sex you want to indulge in.
Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma elucidates, "Sex is a natural need for all human beings. But there has to be appropriate arousal for a night of passion and the environment, ambience and bedroom settings play a major role is stimulating your sexual hormones. Just like we eat when we are hungry, similarly, there has to be a sex drive and a physical desire to make you indulge in sex and it come from various things in the pleasure playground."
Couples indulge in sex for various reasons. Some want to experiment and try out new things in bed, while others love seeing their partner experience heights of pleasure. There are others too who love pampering their partner through diverse forms of sex.
Here are various settings that can enhance your sexual camaraderie.
Create an innovative environment during experimental sex
As the name suggests, an experiment signifies something creative and out-of-box, so it could be a wild sexual stint. Couples opting for experimental sex aim to bring back the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. No matter how long they've been into their relationship, there is a need to have an Earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert suggests, "When it's about being experimental, try out just about everything. From the sofa to the floor, living room to the kitchen, bathtub to the garden, let your imagination take over completely. Enacting a porn star or a pole dancer act could take your spouse by surprise. Having meals in a semi-clad state will ignite your partner's erotic side. Keep sexual props like whips, chains, pompoms and streamers handy to add to the mood."
Pamper your beau during make-up sex
Make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of an ugly argument, so if you had a gut-wrenching fight with your spouse, there can be nothing better than indulging in a sexual reconciliation. While the act gives you several chances to say 'sorry' to your partner, don't forget the right ambiance is e a blessing in disguise. Not only it will make your partner feel pampered, but also let you gradually descend towards a sex romp.
DO IT RIGHT : Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma adds, "Keep a nice musical show piece, preferably a couple doing ball dance, alongside the bed that makes a chiming sound to add to the soothing aroma that you wished to create. Also, a lavish chandelier placed right above your bed can create the right combination of light and shadow. Also, decorate the room with flowers, place some surprise gifts for your partner, use satin bed sheets, heart shaped pillows etc that create a perfect atmosphere that makes your partner forget the fight and enjoy the sexual gratification."
Keep it simple foe necessary sex
Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good
about your sexual prowess. A sexual act that most couples perform as a vital part of a long-term relationship can also lead to special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift your sagging spirits.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita says, "Just keep the settings simple. Stick to a conventional bedroom setting with a nice bed sheet and some scented candles boosting your sexual desires. A prolonged foreplay in or outside the bedroom area can gear you up for a gratifying act in bed. Indulge in a quick session of reading the Kamasutra to master new sex positions or watch a porn film together to set the mood for such 'necessary' sexual experiences. Remember, wearing saucy lingerie can also hit the right spot to woo your partner."
Sex on my mind on vacation
When it's about a sexual getaway, forget all domestic anxieties back home, as carrying them along will only decrease your sexual pleasure. Plan to have sex in a romantic locale that allows you to rediscover each another in a new light. Leave your laptop behind, turn the cell phone off and relax to make the sex better.
DO IT RIGHT : Gitanjali explains, "The perfect settings for recreational sex includes first indulging in a candlelit dinner with the right mix of aphrodisiacal food and wine, which you normally do not consume at home. A salsa dance session can further evoke your erotic senses, coupled with some sexual images placed appropriately on the walls of your room. Ideally try and opt for a room with a romantic or spectacular view of a lake or a mountain."
Bring vigour back during solace sex
Sex, undeniably, is the best remedy when you are feeling miserable, dejected, anguished or lonely. Sexual acts to relieve your tensions are more emotional, more engaging and possibly more expressive and thus the focus is more on cuddling, rather than on climaxing. Since couples look forward to intensifying their bond, the ambience during solace sex can really make a difference. Forget the regular bed; why not try it out in the bathtub?
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita agrees, "Use scented warm water, adding rose petals to set the mood, Furthermore, a hot shower together with your partner stimulates the sex hormones and also gives a chance for intimate moments. Lastly, a sensuous massage either with a chocolate spa or aroma oils can help in calming your tensed mind and thus giving you more comforting pleasure."
Keep it private for racy sex (one night stands)
Most couples would deny this, but love takes a backseat and it's the lust that comes to the forefront during a racy one-night stand. The lack of emotional attachment makes it easier for couples to climax.
DO IT RIGHT : There is something wildly erotic about the back seat of your car, or a dark stair case when you are in the throes of a quickies. The stimulation from the fear that you maybe caught red-handed leads to a lot more of experimentation, including oral stimulation. Get down and dirty, throw back your latent inhibitions and perk up the pleasure.

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Myths about low sexual desire

There are lots of moments in life when you seem to be the only one craving for sex and your partner just doesn't seem interested enough.
Most couples have faced this situation sometime or another in their sexual life even as the sex nosedives and vanishes for days/months and in worst case scenarios maybe even for years. Learning to recognise the symptoms behind a low sex drive helps to get out of the sticky situation. Here are the most common myths about your low sexual levels:
Myth 1: Too much stress leads to low sex drive
Banker Rohit Khanna complained about high stress levels to his partner. "I was having a tough time with my boss in office. That affected my interest in sex, but Aradhana just wouldn't understand. We ended up fighting, with my wife accusing me that I just wasn't interested in her anymore and I was put off by the thought of indulging in sex with her. Finally, we both had to visit a counselor who helped us see the problem for what it was. It was also a time when I had begun to doubt my own sexual prowess. So yes, it was extremely traumatic."
Beat it: Psychologist Poornima Adhikari explains, "Couples often go through high and low phases in their sexual desires. It could be triggered off by anything and stress is most often one of the major reasons for a lack luster sexual life. The hectic lifestyle of today bears ugly aftermaths and thus couples must figure out ways to de-stress. They should look into common areas of interest that help them bond and find happiness together. And talking about your problems is a great way of lowering high stress levels. So communicate, take out time even if it's just 10 minutes every day to talk about things that are troubling you."
Myth 2: Women's low libido are governed by her hormones
Shraddha Singh, a hotel executive reveals that men often believe that hormones regulate a woman's intrinsic moods and desires. "Anand, my husband always fought with me when I told him that I just didn't want to have sex today. He inevitably blamed it on my hormonal levels, saying that women were victims of their hormones. But that's such a huge misconception. Our hormones are just like our male counterparts too." She adds, "Often, a low libido is caused by eating habits, fatigue, not enough sleep and many more physiological factors. Also it's about our mental health."
Beat it: Adhikari points out that low sex drive in women often stems from how they feel about themselves and how they view their relationship with their partner. So when women complain about a low sex drive, their partners need to make them feel good about themselves. Couples need to sit together and work out how on to improve their existing relationship. The woman must be going through some kind of complex feelings that need to be detangled to take the relationship forward at a physical level.
Myth 3: Medications help to boost low sex drive
According to Dr Swaroop Pandit, Anshuman Hospital, a dip in sexual levels is often
caused by circumstances men/women face which causes physiological and psychological changes in the body. "Often patients seek an immediate solution but it takes time to make them realise that there isn't any immediate cure. It’s better if they could see it very objectively rather then losing sleep over it. It’s important to realise that medications can sometimes have just the opposite effect. So, what is important is to seek out the root of the problem, whether it’s physical, psychological or any other. That is half the fight done."
Beat it: Psychoanalyst Sushant Chauhan points out, "Medication should always be kept as the last option. Patients can often be cured by simply addressing their problems. And more than men, its women today who complain about their low sex drive. There are women who are traumatised by the balancing act that they have to deliver everyday by looking into both their professional and personal lives, so at times they almost give sex a miss. Women also get involved with their children once they become mothers so it takes a while to get back their normal drive. What it requires is some patience, a lot of love and time. These factors can go a long way to cure the fears and inhibitions you have."
Myth 4: Sexual drive works in isolation to our body
Business analyst Deepak Sharma experienced a phase of low libido. Stricken by panic attacks and running to and fro between seeing doctors and meeting deadlines worsened the case. A chain smoker, his smoking consequently saw a heady increase. "I was totally losing control. I was embarrassed to talk about my low libido with my peers and I just didn't know what was happening to me. Some said I should visit a doctor, some said I should try out herbal medication. I was just not in a position to realise what was causing it. I began to drink steadily along with smoking, often going without meals. And all the time I was thinking how everyone saw me as this loser," confesses Sharma.
Beat it: "This is definitely a cause and effect situation. Men are known to give their sexual drive a lot of importance, so it's very natural for them to react in this manner. Men, in India are a shy lot and very rarely come out to address problems until they are pushed by their partners or family members. Firstly, be clear that it doesn’t matter that you are experiencing a low libido level. However, once you face such a predicament, do not aggravate the problem by smoking and so on. It is a fact that smoking can cause impotency, but many people still do not view this as a major problem. So if you are a smoker, kick the habit. If you drink too often, start counting your drinks. Reshuffling your lifestyle, taking a holiday, pursuing interesting hobbies often leads to reinstating your drive," says Chauhan.
Myth 5: High sexual life is equivalent to a good emotional intimacy
Quite often we are taken over by a secure emotional intensity that we share with our partner. And we take that as a guarantee for a fulfilling sex life. Like Shweta Trikha, a struggling model, reveals, "I found a lot of emotional succor from my partner, especially because of the competitiveness that pervaded my work life. He made me feel like we are best friends and nothing could be better then this. But our sexual life was losing its zing. And I didn't know how to get it back on track. Despite drawing so much security from each other, we saw that we were losing steam in bed. That was the time when I hit the alarm bell."
Beat it: Adhikari explains, "Couples often experience moments when everything is going right for them emotionally, except that they are unable to feel a sexual desire for each other. So, instead of getting overwhelmed, go easy. A way out is not to think about having sex and scoring highly in the act. Instead start by just being playful. Forget about doing anything that is normal; instead think of ways to make yourself feel sexy and desired by your beau. The best solution is to feel desired for desire to take precedence in your love life."
Myth 6: If your partner wants to have sex and you don't, then you can make up by showing love in other ways
Confesses
college-goer Amit Nagpal, "I faced this problem with my girlfriend. We would often have these dry spells where we didn't touch each other for months even as my girl craved it. I would try to make up for my low sex drive by showering her with gifts, telling her how much I loved her almost all the time. But there was no satisfying her. She complained about not kissing, hugging and I just couldn't explain that I didn't feel like getting physically intimate. Finally there came a time when I decided to give her a break."
Beat it: "This is a problem that is very common, but never understood. Every couple shares a different chemistry, but it is important to touch and feel each other. Especially for married couples, because even if you try to show your love in other ways, it can't compensate for lack of physical closeness. The physical aspect is more important and can't t be replaced by any other act. So it's best to say that you are facing a problem, instead of trying to hide it by resorting to other means to display love," explains Chauhan.
Myth 7: Low libido makes you less desirable
This is a prevalent misconception that can scar the psyche of a person permanently. Fashion designer Sonal Lal, says," I was engaged to be married, but during our courtship period, I just couldn't do get physical with my fiance. Every time he suggested sex, I refused his overtures as I was unable to feel any physical longing for him. This went on till he broke off the engagement complaining that I was cold and frigid and undesirable. The experience hurt so much that I kept away from men for a long time post my broken engagement. And whenever anyone tried to cosy up with me, I shied away being afraid of being rejected all over again."
Beat It: Explains Chauhan that no individual has the right to abuse their partner who may be facing these problems. "Yes, it happens that we might not feel attracted to the person we have planned to marry. It's important to question the basis of your relationship with your prospective partner then, rather then taking the blame on yourself. As discussed, there could be problems beyond the periphery of normal understanding. And desire stems from feeling good about yourself. First develop a positive image about yourself," adds Chauhan.
Myth 8: Sex is the only thing in a relationship
Gautam Nirula, a sales executive says, "I was always told by my friends that a relationship is based on sex. Thus, when I got married, I concentrated on that. However what I failed to understand was that sex depends on a lot of factors. I always wanted sex and my wife kept on refusing me. And instead of understanding her predicament, I remained angry with her. This resulted in a distance between the two of us. Only when elders interfered and counselled me, I realized what was going wrong. Today; I feel that emotional compatibility, trust and faith in each other make the foundation on which great sex is built."
Beat it: Explains Adhikari, "Married couples need to go beyond sex to get it right in bed. If you harbour anger or resentment about your partner you can't enjoy a gratifying sexual life. Often it's the emotional closeness that is most required. When couples come to me I advise them not to think about their physical needs. Instead they are advised to look out for the things they like/love about each other. And develop their bond from there onwards. They need to concentrate on the positives than seeing the negatives. This helps them to get your passion back.

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9 mantras to reclaim your sex life

If the credit crunch managed to limp your sex life last year, then here are nine tips from an expert to help restore those lost charms in the bedroom.

Dr. Ian Kerner, a New York City-based sex therapist, said that recession had taken its toll on people in general who were subsequently “having less sex”. "Fifty million people are stuck in a sex rut. The economy inhibits a person's libido because they feel stressed and depressed,” Fox News quoted Kerner as saying.

The author of Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parent's Guide to Getting It on Again has proposed nine ways to help those looking to give a boost to their passion.

Here are nine ways to reclaim your sex life:

1. Just go ahead with it: “It might sound silly, but just have more sex. Your mind has become habituated to not having sex, so it’s hard to break out of it. You have to reconnect.”

2. Connect with each other: “You can’t just turn sex on when it’s time to go to bed.You need to build that sense of connection."

3. Stay positive: “Studies show that for couples to boost their sex life, they have to be positive. It’s easy to go home and talk about mortgages and bills, but if it leads to a negative cycle of communication, figure out a positive form of communication.”

4. Prioritise your relationship: “Couples are spending more time on Facebook and blogs. The next thing you know it’s 11:30 p.m. and it’s too late for sex. There’s no urgent need to check your BlackBerry — your relationship has to be a priority.”

5. Adopt and maintain a healthy lifestyle: "It's easy to binge at the end of December with the holiday eating and drinking. Get healthy and remain healthy. It will increase your sex drive and exercise will boost your self-esteem, which is crucial to enjoying sex."

6. Reveal fantasies: “In sex, you often do the same things, rely on the same moves. Share a fantasy. Or, if you feel your partner is lacking in attentiveness, instead of criticising, express it in a sexy way.”

7. Lend a helping hand: “A lot of women aren’t interested in sex because they have other things on their minds like chores, dirty dishes and men can’t always appreciate that aspect. If men help and create an environment where women want to have sex, that’s really important.”

8. Be honest: “One of the benefits of being in a relationship is that sex isn’t perfect — guys are subject to their issues, women are subject to theirs. If in ’08 you were saying something didn’t matter, (maybe) it does in ’09. Sex changes from year to year and ’09 is a new year.”

9. Create the right environment, ‘the love nest’: “Put a little more energy into your surroundings. Create a surrounding that appeals to your senses.”

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Emotions good for women's sex lives

Women with high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a new study.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor and manage emotions in oneself and others.
The study by a research team at King's College London showed that those with greater EI had more orgasms. It also suggests that low EI is a risk factor for female orgasmic disorder.
"These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom. This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," the Independent quoted Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London and co-author of the study, as saying.
For the study, a total of 2,035 female volunteers from the TwinsUK registry were recruited, ranging in age from 18 to 83.
The registry consists of adult twins who agreed to take part in studies to investigate the causes of common disorders. Using twins makes it possible to disentangle genetic and environmental risk factors.
All participants completed questionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and also answered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.
Researchers found a significant association between EI and frequency of orgasm both during masturbation and sexual intercourse.
Women in the bottom 25 percent of the emotional intelligence range had twice the normal risk of infrequent orgasm.
Lead author, psychologist Andrea Burri, also from King's College, said: "Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.
She also said that there was a possible association with a woman's ability to fantasise during sex.
"Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner," said Burri.
The results of the study appear in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

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Refreshing your sex life

According to a latest report, slow lovemaking is the new mantra to renew your sex life. No matter how fun loving or aggressive is your partner, slow and steady always wins the race.
Originally developed by sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated.
However the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction.
The benefits of sensate focus are discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover's body, as well as your own.
These exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement.
With such pleasuring exercises couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another.
According to Fox News, couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play.
This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses.
When pursuing sensate focus exercises, set aside at least 60 uninterrupted minutes in a warm bedroom and one may even enhance the setting with soothing music and candles.
If it helps, take a bath (or anything else that relaxes you). Take your time, over several "dates," and finally get on with the sessions.
Sensate focus sex could establish new ways of relating to each other and partners may find themselves having some of the best sex of their lives.

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Tips to seduce your woman

Sydney's famous writer Sam de Brito, in his new book 'Building a Better Bloke', has admitted that he has had his share of dud dates - because his past approach to dating involved getting drunk.







However he confessed that he has made a few adjustments when it comes to luring the opposite sex. And he has urged other men to do the same in his new book.






"I'm not trying to teach men how to be a pick-up artist or a stud, I want to show men how to build self-esteem, build a life for themselves - which in turn will attract women," the Courier Mail quoted Brito, as saying.






Brito's generation has lost the art of communicating with women. "Guys have fallen through the cracks. We like to think of men as bold and confident and a lot of them aren't," he said.






He said that for some, the biggest fear in life is approaching and striking up a conversation with a woman. In this case, he has suggested practice and a sense of humour is the key. The catch phrase of his book is: "Find a life and you'll find love". "The biggest thing is not to look cool, but to have a life with lots of interests. Get involved in your life, look after yourself, and you're primed to meet someone," he said.






He said that good manners and keeping clean are also important. "Be a gentleman. Respect yourself. Even if you're funny and charming, you're not going to get far with a woman if you smell," he said.






Besides clean sheets and clean fingernails, Building a Better Bloke also reminds men of the simple things, like holding a door open for women.






So here he suggests ten tips to lure a woman:






Stay healthy


Don't abuse alcohol or drugs


Have a job that means something to you


Be busy with your own activities


Be well groomed and clean


Have a sense of humour


Talk to women as individuals, not as a gender


Be a gentleman


Don't mix with loser friends


Have a clean bedroom, clean sheets - and a lamp to create romantic lighting

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Sex can be fun for teens

Britain''s National Health Service wants children to have a positive approach to sex, for which it has come up with new pamphlet, called Pleasure.

NHS in the Sheffield, South Yorkshire has released the booklet.

It apparently contains a section called "an orgasm a day'''' encouraging educators to inform teens about the positive physical and emotional effects of sex and masturbation, apart from demonstrations about how to use condoms and other contraceptives.

Teachers will now need to emphasise that sexual relations can be healthy and pleasurable instead of simply explaining the mechanics of sex and warning about diseases.

However, some people claim it will increase promiscuity.

"Some of it is good sense, but I think it''s wrong is to suggest that 16-year-olds should wantonly enter into having sexual intercourse for pleasure,'''' the Daily Telegraph quoted Anthony Seldon, headmaster of Wellington College, as saying.

He said: "I think this is medically wrong and emotionally wrong and will increase teenage pregnancy and impact negatively on the formation of a long-term loving relationship.''''

However, Steve Slack, who helped produce the leaflet as Director of the Centre for HIV & Sexual Health in Sheffield, said: "Far from promoting teenage sex, it is designed to encourage young people to delay losing their virginity until they are sure they will enjoy the experience.''''

Also, Ruth Smith, news editor of Children & Young People Now magazine, believes that the booklet will help young people become more comfortable with their sexuality.

He said: "Research shows young people feel pressured to have sex before they''re ready,'''' she said. "This booklet is intended to give them the skills to discuss it. It''s not a licence to go out and have sex, it''s saying if you do, do it, wait until you''re ready and enjoy it. It makes them more confident and more able to say no.''

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Top 11 sex myths busted

Whether we appreciate them or not, we still like to know about sex myths and facts and if they are true or false.

There are as many sex myths and facts as there are couples! You may have heard someone say ‘oh they broke up as their sex life was poor’, or someone else’s package size is smaller so their married life didn’t succeed. Here are some facts which we sometimes like to ignore.

1. You can't get pregnant during your period - false!

There's a chance that you can get pregnant during a period, particularly towards the end of your menstrual cycle. Unprotected sex also increases the risk infection by sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

2. You can't get pregnant during unprotected sex if the man pulls out before he ejaculates - false!

Even though your boyfriend doesn't ejaculate, sperm can still be present in his pre-cum (the clear, sticky drops that are released when he's aroused). It only takes one sperm to get you pregnant, and the fluid can also contain sexually transmitted infections. Some men aren't aware that they are ejaculating until it's too late, and it's easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment.

3. You can't get pregnant while having sex standing up, or in the shower or bath - false!

If you have unprotected sex you can get pregnant, no matter how or where you do it.

4. You can't get pregnant while on the pill - false!

The chances of getting pregnant while taking the contraceptive pill are virtually nil, provided you are following the instructions correctly and consistently. But if you miss pills, are on antibiotics, or have sickness and diarrhoea, you need to use condoms for the next seven days.

5. It's safe to have sex as soon as you're on the pill - false!

Different types of contraceptive pills take different times to kick in. This can range from 0-14 days. Always follow the instructions prescribed with your type of pill, and use an additional form of contraception such as condoms during the time it takes for your choice of pill become effective.

6. Peeing after sex washes out sperm and prevents pregnancy - false!

For a start, urine exits the bladder through the urethra, which lies above of the vaginal opening. Which means any sperm in the vagina won't even get wet when you pee.

7. Men want sex more than women do - false.

Women want sex too - but they are guided by other emotions as well. For instance, house work, kids and holding onto a job are good enough reasons to go off sex completely. So we're exhausted! Plus, hormones make us feel like having a lot of sex during certain times of the month, rather than all of the time. And, because we tend to attach more emotions to sex than men do, we aren't going to beg him for action if he's been giving us attitude.

8. Happy couples have good sex most of the time - false.

Show me a couple that's having out-of-control, raging sex every night after years of sharing the same bed, and I'll show you a pig that can fly. Life and all its pressures get in the way for all of us. Does it mean your friend is lying if she claims to have fabulous sex after five years of marriage and two kids? Maybe. Or maybe she thinks you have a great sex life and doesn't want to admit she doesn't. Or maybe her definition of great sex is different than yours. Or maybe she really does have terrific sex... once a month. It's all subjective.

9. Men are more promiscuous than women - true.

The real truth is, this one is probably true, but by much less than you think. When polled about their sex lives, men overestimate while women underestimate, due to societal pressures. It's also totally dependent on how attractive the people in question are. An attractive, sexually liberated woman is likely to have had more partners than a not-so-fab-looking guy around the same age, for instance. It's called opportunity.

10. Women don't like porn or dirty sex - false.

Women love porn. It gives them new ideas and tricks to try out to make their partners happy. Plus, a lot of them are exchanged on emails or discussed between giggles next to water coolers in the office. Anyone who thinks men are the only ones mentally undressing that sexy passenger on the metro is deluded.

11. Men always want sex - false .

You need to give more credit to your partner than that! But if he is below 18 and has landed his first girlfriend, then perhaps it is true. However, as men get older responsibilities, daily pressures, work, bills etc. come in the way and he cannot think of sex all the time. But one look, and he is ready to jump into bed - that’s also true!

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Recipe for better sex: What to eat to add spice

Need to spice up your sex life? All the ingredients you need may be found at your local grocery store.

Like many aspects of health, our sex drive is affected by what we put into our bodies. Certain foods affect the body in different ways. Depending on what you consume, wining and dining a date can induce more sleep than romance. A big, fancy dinner, a bottle of wine and fine chocolates may sound sweet — but such meals are actually little more than empty calories.

To really get your blood going, consider circulation-enhancing dishes. Food that's high in Omega-3 fatty acids such as mackerel, salmon and wild salmon are best. "Omega-3 makes your nervous system function better," says Dr. Barbara Bartlik, assistant professor of psychiatry and sex therapist with the Human Sexuality Program at Weill Cornell Medical Center. "Sex is really about circuitry." Multivitamins and minerals will help, too. Both improve neurological function, which contributes to good circulation.

Humans have sought ways to enhance or improve their sex lives for millennia — and have never been reluctant to spend money to make themselves better lovers. The ancient Romans were said to prefer such exotic aphrodisiacs as hippo snouts and hyena eyeballs. Traditional Chinese medicine espoused the use of such rare delicacies as rhino horn. Modern lovers are no less extravagant. In 2005, for example, according to Amsterdam-based health care information company Wulters Kluwer, Americans spent just under $1.4 billion to treat male sexual dysfunction disorders alone.

Of that amount, Viagra rang up $1.2 billion in sales for Pfizer, or 60 percent of the total market. Among the other drugs trying to find their way into American's bedside tables and back pockets are Levitra and Cialis.

There is a difference, of course, between helping sexual dysfunction and arousing our passions.

Aphrodisiacs, for the most part, have been shown to be ineffective. Named for Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sex and beauty, these include an array of herbs, foods and other "agents" that are said to awaken and heighten sexual desire. But the 5,000-year tradition of using them is based more on folklore than real science. "There is no data and no scientific evidence," says Leonore Tiefer, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. "Product pushers are very eager to capitalize on myths," she says.

Most libido-enhancing products offer short term benefit at best, according to Dr. John Mulhall, director of the Sexual Medicine Program at New York Presbyterian and associate professor of urology at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Mulhall, who also sits on the Nutraceuticals Committee of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America, says, "Every year, we review the literature on these compounds — these nutraceuticals like nitric oxide and ginseng — and there are none that have really been shown to be more than a placebo."

When it comes to sexual function, the placebo effect probably accounts for 30 percent of improvements in men and around 50 percent in women, he says. That means there are a lot of people out there who believe a pill they are taking or a food they are eating is doing a lot of good for them sexually. In reality, their mind is doing all the work.

So, besides renting "The Story of O" and opening a bottle of red wine, what can people do to kick-start their sex life?

For a good time, try soy
One thing they can do is change their diet. Soy, for example, binds estrogen receptors, which helps the vaginal area remain lubricated and combats symptoms of menopause — particularly hot flashes. Studies have shown that soy is also beneficial to the prostate, a crucial male sex organ. However, it's important to note that women who have a history of breast cancer should not eat large amounts of soy, because the binding of estrogen receptors actually increases the risk of reoccurrence.

Foods that promote weight loss also hold libido-boosting potential. "There has been very solid research showing that obesity is a risk factor for erectile dysfunction and low testosterone," says Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, director of the New York Center for Human Sexuality and associate professor of urology at Columbia University's medical school. "Reducing weight," he says, "results in an increase of testosterone, and thus an increase in sexual function."

'Good for your heart, good for your penis'
"From an erection standpoint, anything that's good for your heart is good for your penis," says Dr. Mulhall. Too much saturated fat can, over time, clog arteries and, in doing so, prevent an adequate flow of blood from reaching the genital region. This not only interferes with the ability to perform, but also with sexual pleasure. Too little fat, on the other hand, is also bad.
"You need fat to produce your hormones," says Beverly Whipple, professor emerita at Rutgers University and president of the World Association for Sexology. "Cholesterol is metabolized in the liver, and you get your testosterone and estrogen, which you need for your sex drive," she says. Olive oil, salmon and nuts are optimal sources of the "good" kinds of fats —monounsaturated and polyunsaturated.

According to Dr. Judith Reichman, author of "I'm Not in the Mood: What Every Woman Should Known about Improving Her Libido," medical and hormonal problems are major contributors to sexual dysfunction and a low libido — but so are too much stress, relationship difficulties and psychological issues. Antidepressants, such as Prozac by GlaxoSmithKline and Paxil by Eli Lilly, can negatively affect sex drive as well.
Grab some granola
Improved circulation results in greater erectile response. To accomplish that, go for food rich in L-Arginine, such as granola, oatmeal, peanuts, cashews, walnuts, dairy, green vegetables, root vegetables, garlic, ginseng, soybeans, chickpeas and seeds. Studies show that L-Arginine is helpful for improving sexual function in men. There haven't been studies done on women — but remember, erectile response isn't just a guy thing. "Women have erections too: in their clitoris and the tissue surrounding the vulva," says Bartlik.
Sourse:www.msnbc.msn.com

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12 sex mistakes you should never commit

While much has been written about how to boost action in the bedroom, there are things one should never do when it comes
to sex.

In her new book, titled ‘Sex with Your Ex & 69 Other Things You Should Never Do Again... Plus a Few That You Should’, author Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright has mentioned things that one should strictly refrain to keep a healthy sex life, reports Fox News.

And, according to her, the don’ts of sex are:

1. Never have a "type" of orgasm - have your orgasm

Instead of trying to have a breast, clitoral, G-spot or blended orgasm, forget the labels and have yours. Don’t worry about having a specific type, but focus on pampering your whole body, attending to any of its hot spots. This beckons your orgasm by not being so goal-oriented.

2. Never talk about past sexual relationships

Don’t invite distress into your current romance by reminiscing about the good times or bad times you’ve had with other jerks, hotties, players or loves. Focus on the present and making it the most memorable.

3. Never let sex get routine

While it’s wise to get in a routine to make sure sex happens, don’t let the sex itself get routine. This only invites monotony and the mundane. To keep things hot, be sure to keep things new and fresh.

4. Never just lie there

A big complaint you’ll hear from men and women alike is that their lover didn’t do much of anything during sex. Men have grumbled that she doesn’t move during lovemaking. Most people like an active lover - one responsive to the action, which shows that they’re into the moment.

5. Never move in together (or get married) a second time

Things didn’t work out the first time for good reason. Maybe you love each other, but if you’re incompatible or fight too much, it’s better to cut your losses and move on to a situation that does work.

6. Never drink cheap beer and stay overnight

Don’t set yourself up to be someone’s gassy guest. Get the walk of shame over with sooner rather than later, lest you stink up someone’s bedroom and bathroom. This is not the kind of lasting impression most seducers are after.

7. Never drink more than 1-2 glasses of alcohol

While spirits can do a lot for one’s spirits, sexual self-confidence, and libido, keep your booze to a minimum. More than a couple of glasses can cause erectile difficulties in men and vaginal dryness in women. Being buzzed or drunk can also lead to high-risk sexual behaviours.

8. Never compare yourself to Victoria’s Secret or Abercrombie models .

It’s no good to think that these real-life moving mannequins are the standard by which you should judge your face or form. You’ve got your own unique look and that can be super sexy, depending on how you wear it. That starts with a smile and indicating to others that you feel quite good about yourself.

9. Never totally trust magazine sex tips

Don’t mindlessly copy magazine sex tips. Think about the suggestion first. Is it hot or completely ridiculous? Will it work for your sexual relationship? Or does it have the potential to sabotage your sex life?

10. Never douche before sex

Despite popular belief, douching is not a safe or healthy way to clean the vagina. Doing so upsets the vagina’s delicate chemical balance, increasing your chance of developing pelvic inflammatory disease or other health problems. Let the vagina naturally cleanse itself and worry about other much sexier activities pre-sex.

11. Never attempt tricky Kama Sutra positions if you are not flexible .

Stick with pursuing sexual positions that are comfortable for you.

12. Never listen to somebody slamming your sexy self .

Is a guy suggesting that you get breast implants? Is some gal making fun of your penis size? In either case, ignore the criticism, or in the very least, fire back.

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10 bedroom must-haves

Tired of boredom in your bedroom? Wanting to add a dash of adventure to your sex sessions? Maybe it's time you converted your bedroom into a veritable Garden of Eden to add that sizzle between the sheets.
We bring to you a list of top 10 props, which are a must have in every couple's bedroom.
So get started collecting these love essentials and you could be in for some real hot action tonight.
1. Passion oils: Those unaware about the power of fragrances must know that right kind of smell works as a magical mood setter driving passion to new heights. So, a few essential passion oils in your bedroom are unavoidable so that they help you remain surcharged at all moments.
"Natural scents present in aroma oils are of key importance when it comes to heightening sexual attraction. Some scents are overpoweringly arousing aphrodisiacs for women, while others are good enough to bewitch even the most sober of men," explains Dr. Naresh Arora of Chase Aroma Therapy.
Some of the most effective passion oils are: Ylang Ylang, Rose otto, Jasmine, Neroli and Orange blossom. A drop in the diffuser, a sensuous massage or an utterly romantic bath with these passion oils is what you need to spark a night full of action!
2. A blindfold: Big or small – the excitement caused by blindfolding your lover can perk up the adrenaline rush. Add to it the feel of a satiny-silk cloth blind-folding your eyes and the thrill of touching and feeling your lover in all the unexplored places of his body.
You can also play hide and seek and various other tantalising love games using a blind-fold in the most sensuous manner. So go ahead and blindfold your partner to expose him to a sight they've never experienced before.
3. Handcuffs and silk scarves: If you lay your hands on a handcuff, nothing like it...else silk and satin scarves can also be a sensuous help to pep up the temperature. The purpose here is to have soft ties for bondage during foreplay or sex. Just turn your partner into your slave by handcuffing him/her to the bed or simply tying their limbs with something as soft and sexy as a silk scarf.
Being restrained and then loved can multiply the passion manifolds. "I find it really erotic to see my man writhing, struggling and moaning when I get naughty with him as he remains totally under my control, which happens only when I tie him up," says Neerja Mehendiratta, a 27-years-old advertising professional.
Being helpless is definitely pleasurable, even for your partner who's enjoying the mild domination. Either way, it's a win-win situation for both the partners, which adds to the sex experience.
4. A feather or a soft brush: Make your beau your sex slave and convert a mundane love making ritual into a heady passion play. Your partner is at your disposal and you have nothing but your hands to work with. Get into the experiment mode and use a soft brush to paint erotic love strokes on his chest, trunk, back...and anywhere that leaves him panting...tickling...and begging for more!
Arrange for a soft feather and let the playful touch therapy make him lose his senses to you. Men can use the feather to give a sensuous foot massage to their lady love and watch her writhe with pleasure. Or use it on her navel to turn her to new heights of pleasure.
5. Erotica: Forget those erotic movies and check out the nearest book store for sensuous erotica. Listening to your girl reading out pleasure commentary of another couple in action will be a sure shot stimulus for you to put your mind in active mode. "Reading erotica can be a very powerful trigger to fire-up passion.
While it is true that majority of women would rather read erotica and the majority of men would prefer watching it, erotic stories can stir desire and heighten arousal in both genders. Just reading erotica can help you explore your boundaries in a safe and comfortable way," explains sexologist Shivi Jaggi. What more...make her sit in your lap and read, while you can transform her words into hot action! What say?
6. Mirror magic: Of course a full size mirror is a great help while dressing-up. But how about adding a sexual twist? The next time you are making out, position yourself in front of a full size mirror and watch each other undress and indulge in wild moves. The result is bound to be far more rewarding.
Place the mirror strategically in front of the bed and be an audience to your own sexapades, just like 38 year-old, Bhaskar Mahendroo does. "I just love watching me and my partner make out in the mirror. I started the practice four years ago when boredom and monotony had gripped my sexual life, and it worked...it brought an element of voyeuristic adventure and we enjoy it a lot," he claims.
7. Sexy surprises: Anything as sudden like a lustful quickie in the bath tub or an unannounced love note claiming, "You win to undress me tonight!" is a great passion booster. Taking your lover by surprise is a rewarding experience. Tuck in a love note that says – 'get a six on the love dice and you win to live your most cherished sexual fantasy', will simply take your beau to seventh heaven. It's all about how good are you at imagining...wilder the better!
8. Musical mirage: "Music has the prowess to power your bedroom with the right ambience required to stimulate passion and fervour into your love arena," says sexologist Shivi Jaggi. Begin with matching steps on your favourite love song, mind you—distance not allowed here, so get real close. Keep cuddling and pampering each other till you can't resist one another.
We assure you it won't take long before you hit the bed. Some provocative songs we suggest are: Boyz II Men's I'll make love to you , Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack's Tonight I celebrate my love , Savage Garden's - Truly madly deeply and Celine Dion's My heart will go on.
9. Sex toys & lubricants: These are handy nick-knacks in the love game. "A high quality lubricant adds a whole new dimension to the sensations you experience during a sex session. To play it safe, stick to water based lubes wherever possible," suggests Dr. S.K Rai. And if you are thinking that sex toys are meant only for solo fun...think again! All you need to do is use your imagination and they'll come handy when you are eyeing at some fun strokes together.
10. Erotic edibles: Not in the bedroom, but in the fridge for sure! We suggest that you keep your fridge stocked with food that's not just delectable to eat, but yummier to play with. Creams, yogurts, jams, jellies, sauces, ice-creams, honey etc. taste even better when you lick them on your partner's hot bod. Not just this, they are tried and tested aphrodisiacs as well. You can even hand feed each other to get the love feast started.
A note of advice: To keep these love essentials away from the prying eyes of the other inmates of your home, especially kids (if any), keep them tucked away in a 'treasure chest'. Not only will it be fun to fill it...but exciting as well...as you put each of your collectibles to the best use possible! So, keep collecting and keep loving!

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7 point guide to sexual bliss

7 point guide to sexual bliss
as your sexual regime reached a dead end? Feeling bored? Follow our seven step sexual guide and feel your lost libido recharged

1. Change your sexual routine
Analyse your sexual regimen. Is it highly predictable? Is it more of a race to reach an orgasm? If so then perhaps you are in the midst of a sexual rut. So, get up and try breaking the sexual norm by doing the opposite of what you normally do. If you're having sex in darkness, try it in the morning or in the afternoon. If you're always getting down and dirty in the bedroom, enjoy a quickie on the kitchen counter or under the shower. If your man is always on top, surprise him by taking charge. Change your sexual POA to inject freshness into your sex life.

2. Show him the booty
It's not always a great idea to sashay around the house in sexy lingerie and killer heels if you want an instant arousal in your man. Why don't you surprise him by doing the dusting totally naked wearing a sexy G-string or indulge in some sexy shopping together. Men are turned on by what they see - so show him.

3. Make enough time
While sex is supposed to be spontaneous, unbridled passion, the pressure of jobs, children, and managing domestic chores leaves us with no time for sex. Try to give him hints that you are looking forward to a romp. Send suggestive and naughty texts and emails throughout the day. Spontaneity is a great mood builder and the anticipation and build up of something planned can be lots of fun.

4. Look back...
Remember the early days when you were in the first throes of lust when it was hard to keep your hands of each other? Most couples remember their initial years with affectionate nostalgia, so try and recreate those memories. Plan a nice dinner, reminisce about the first time you saw each other, what attracted you initially, and your first date. Recall the sexual connection, the pet names, personal jokes. Put on some sensuous music and dance around your living room to the song you first danced to. Recreate the thrill of having sex by doing it somewhere you might get caught! You share a rich history, so indulge in it a little - those that do are the couples that stay connected.

5. It's good to talk
Never sleep with anger within you. The unwritten rule of a great relationship is to really talk. Be open and honest. Talk about things you don't like in each other, irritating habbits. But remember to discuss the positive traits too - communicate what's important in your relationship; simply talking about why you love each other can help keep the passion alive.

6. Retain the mystery
A little bit of mystery adds spark to your love life. Sometimes when you are living with each other for years, you get too comfortable with each other and tend to be yourself with your partner. So keep the mystery alive and add some spice to your relationship.

7. Indulge your senses
Turn your bedroom into an erotic boudoir by adding loads of silk, satin sheets and colours that make you feel sexy. Cook aphrodisiacal meals together with naughty ingredients that really s-excite the taste buds, or share a candlelit bath with fragrant bubbles and scented oils. Make the time to indulge your senses and you'll soon your libido replenished.
Source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com

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Hot 'take-charge' tips for her

Gone are the days when only men did the chasing and women pretended to be coy. Here are some sexy take-charge tips for the woman who knows what she wants and isn’t shy about it.

In these express times, things need to move at express speed. If you are really keen on that guy living in the building opposite yours and can’t wait to be overwhelmed by waves of passion, try these naughty take-charge tips to shake up your sex life. Why do you want him to make the first move – we believe in equality right?

Load his iPod or MP3 Player
Download racy tracks onto your partner's iPod. Next time he's looking at his playlist, he'll notice a new addition - and titled 'Hot tunes from me', he won't hesitate to hit the 'play' button really fast.

Here are some suggestions:

I Got a Geeling by Black Eyed Peas
There She Goes by The La’s
Two Princes by Spin Doctors
Ego by Beyoncè
U R a Fever by The Kills
Wicked Game by Chris Isaak
Oops (Oh My) by Tweet
The Fixer by Pearl Jam
Timeless Melody by The La’s
Sexy MF by Prince and The New Power Generation
I Touch Myself by The Divinyls
Erotica by Madonna
Je T'aime...Moi Non Plus by Serge Gainsbourg
Turn Me On by Norah Jones
Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake

Be vocal
On the phone, be as imaginative as you would want to. It needn’t be all talk and no action. If you're brave enough, you can indulge in a seriously naughty adventure for two.

The rules

• Make the call when you won't be interrupted and check that he's not going to be busy, either.
• Make sure your surroundings are as pleasant and comfortable as possible. Warmth, candlelight and perfume sprayed in the air will help create the right atmosphere.
• Sit or lie somewhere completely private and comfortable.

The action

• Start slowly and seductively telling him exactly what you're not wearing.
• Keep your voice breathy and sexy.
• Be truthful. Tell it like you're really feeling it.
• If you're missing your partner, let him know. If there are things that you wish he was doing to you, make sure you voice them as graphically as possible.
• If there are things he'd like to have done to him, tell him exactly how you'd do them.

Evocative text
Send steamy SMS suggestions - he'll be so hot for you before he's had a chance to hit 'reply'...

• U know those sexy, black lace knickers of mine? Not wearing them
• I've been watching a dirty movie and I'm feeling inspired...
• Satin sheets or cotton? Can't decide which feels better
• Bought a new scarf 2day. Need U to tell me how it looks... around my eyes

Fail proof text

• Check for typos before hitting 'send'.
• Pace it. Too long between texts and you lose momentum. Too fast and you lose anticipation. Just like sex itself, really...


Source:timesofindia.indiatimes.com

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People who do not want to go all the way to sexual intercourse can still be more sexual and even more orgasmic with what sex experts call an "outercourse".
Outercourse is the umbrella term for any kind of sex play that doesn't involve oral or traditional sex, but still manage to offer sexual gratification for lovers involved in the act.
It's ideal in minimizing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the risk of pregnancy, reports Fox News.
However, the method is not completely foolproof, as it depends on how much clothing people keep on.
Outercourse allows lovemaking to last longer, and couples are given the opportunity to soak in more of what the sexual experience is about.
Partners may feel closer and more connected with each other and themselves, while for new lovers, it allows them to build trust while feeling sexually connected.
For older, experienced lovers, outercourse can hurl them back in time, helping them to reclaim the thrill of the forbidden nature of sex.
Outercourse embodies a number of sexual activities, including:
Erotic Talk - Whether in the boudoir, over the phone, via text or online, lovers can catapult each other to a carnal cosmos with some lascivious lingo.
Sensual Storytelling - Between reading sexy stories and looking at erotica, lovers can entertain themselves for hours while playing with their own hot spots.
Role-Playing - By sharing fantasies, lovers can pick and choose their preferred real-life passion pursuits.
Erotic Massage - Lovers work every part of the body with scintillating sexual touch.
Kissing - Suck face and grope each other like teenagers, eventually showering your lover's entire body with kisses.
Cybersex - Via instant messaging, E-mail, Internet chatrooms, or cyberspace forums, lovers can have tech sex of all types. Maximum satisfaction is realized in how much you choose to touch yourself versus your keyboard.
Strip Teases - Give your lover his or her own private viewing, being sure to conclude your routine with some lush lip action and titillating touches.
Sexual Enhancement Products - Sex toys were practically made for outercourse. Offering variety, experimentation, and hours of entertainment, lovers can explore each other's bodies as they tap all of their senses.
Mutual Masturbation - Pleasure yourself for your partner's pleasure or erotically massage each other's bodies at the same time or take turns stimulating the other.
Dry sex - Lovers can rub up against each other to no end, stimulating each other into oblivion.

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How to have great four play

According to reports this week, new lovers aren't the ones getting the most knee trembling action. On the contrary, long-term couples are having most fun in the sack, according to recent stats, reports The Sun.
A survey by Phillips intimate massagers found that couples who have been together for four years and two months are the most confident they have ever been when it comes to sex.
Two thirds of couples agreed that the longer you have been together, the more intimate your relationship becomes and one in twenty even suggested sex got better as long as 15 years down the line, as stated in The Sun magazine.
The poll, of 3,000 couples in long term relationships also found that the average British couple has sex once a week, and it lasts typically 29 minutes.
Here we speak to sexpert Simone Bienne for the low down on getting the loving you want, whatever stage of your relationship.
"Finally, a piece of research that tells it like it really is," she said.
"As a whole, we've started to think about sex on an entirely different level - and this research is evidence of this.
"Back in the nineties we were focusing purely on sex as performance related - meaning we just saw it as a physical act.
"But actually the best sex is multi dimensional.
"Emotional, mentally, spiritually and physically stimulating. The closer you are with your partner - the more you know them, and how to stimulate each other.
So why, if sex is never as good, do most of us have more of it when we've just met someone?
"At the beginning of a relationship your body is giving you a love cocktail of chemicals called PEA.
"This is evolution's way of carrying on the human race - because it makes us go at it like rabbits.
"After about 18 months, it wears off - but this means you have work out how else you get stimulated.
"You begin to see sex as something more important - emotionally and physically.
"Gwyneth Paltrow summed it up recently when she said on a chat show that she hated the first year of a relationship.
"As she put it, we all have a basic need to feel secure - before this time, it's hard to imagine a man still loving us without our regular bikini waxes or perfect makeup.
"It's the unconditional love of a long term relationship that makes us totally uninhibited and allows us to really enjoy sex - as we feel loved on more than a physical level.
"There is so many pieces of research that show couples in 40s, 50s and 60s are happier sexually than those in the twenties - its all down to security."
But does this make the idea of a quick fumble or one night stand as a way of releasing sexual tension entirely defunct - and should any of us really be indulging in it?

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An orgasm a day keeps illnesses away

Women who regularly have orgasms are more energetic and suffer fewer illnesses than females who are left wanting more after sex sessions, says a new research.
According to a team from the Women''s Health programme in Australia, females who rate their sex lives highly have more vitality and a better psychological outlook than those who have sex less than twice a month.
Researchers analysed sex lives of almost 300 females aged from 20 to 65 to reach the conclusion.
Lead researcher Dr Sonia Davison, of the Women''s Health Program at Monash University, Australia, said: "We found that women who were sexually dissatisfied had lower well-being and vitality.
"This finding highlights the importance of addressing these areas as an essential part of healthcare, because women may be uncomfortable discussing these issues with their doctor."
As over 90 percent of women in the study reported their sexual activity involved a partner, and was initiated by the partner at least 50 percent of the time, the sexual activity of the women may have been affected by partner presence (or absence), partner health, and sexual function, which were not addressed in the study.
"The fact that women who self-identified as being dissatisfied maintained the level of sexual activity reported most likely represents established behaviour and partner expectation," said Professor Susan Davis, senior author of this study, also based at the Women''s Health Program at Monash University, Australia.
It also reinforces the fact that frequency of sexual activity in women cannot be employed as a reliable indicator of sexual well-being," the expert added.
Sexual medicine expert Dr Irwin Goldstein said: "This emphasises the role and importance of sexual health in women''s overall health and well-being."
The study has been published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

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'Sexercise' for that slim figure

Forget treadmills, long walks and Atkins diet, an expert has come up with a new way of staying in shape-and it has nothing to do with cutting out on carbs - it's indulging in plenty of sex.
Yes, you heard it right, "sexercise" makes a person slimmer - if you do enough of it. Combining sex and fitness is like killing two birds with one stone. Sex gets you fit. And being fit makes you want to have more sex. This is, in large part, because of all of the benefits a good sexercise routine offers, like: improved blood flow in strengthening your heart, better cholesterol, changing more of your bad cholesterol (LDL) to good cholesterol (HDL), weight control, better sleep and greater energy, including longer life and a better quality of life.
According to Fox News, women, in particular, feel more attractive with sexual fitness, since they produce more estrogen. This makes for shinier, smoother hair. Both sexes glow as their skin pores become cleansed, thanks to sweating. They feel sexier than ever. But how do you start this sexercise routine? Well, sex educator Dr.Yvonne Kristín Fulbright has come to your rescue.
Get a physical if you haven't in a while . While it may be laughable to do this, you're going to be physically active, accelerating your heart rate, pulse, and blood pressure. You're also going to be testing and developing your strength, stamina, and flexibility. As with any form of exercise, you need to make sure that you're good to go. Aim for half-hour romps 3-5 times a week. This may seem like a lot, but this is actually not very time-consuming. Consider the amount of time you put into your favorite TV show.
Remind yourself of the rewards. Sex for 30 minutes burns anywhere from 15-350 calories, depending on how physically active you are. This is the equivalent of calories burned during a half an hour of brisk walking,
running, or lifting weights. Vigorous or longer sex sessions five times per week can burn up to 1,650
calories! The active partner - typically the one on top - tends to burn more.
Don't lose focus. You can easily get distracted with all of sex's delights. But your goal is to make it burn. In a matter of weeks, you can notice improvements in the tone and strength of your stomach, back, buttocks, legs and arms.
Aim for variety. Your sexercise routine doesn't have to be routine. You can't take it for granted that sexercising won't be boring, at least not in the same way as your treadmill. So get creative.
Watch what you eat . Also maintain moderate exercise out of the bedroom. Take care of each other post-workout. After working up a good sweat, you'll have to hit the shower.

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Condoms may soon be history

It may be time for men to split the contraceptive burden with women, for Scottish scientists have come up with a new pill that Bum jabsdrastically reduces sperm count in men.
Professor Richard Anderson, from Edinburgh University, is on the look out for men willing to try the revolutionary hormone injections, containing progesterone and testosterone, to be given in the bum every two months.
The researcher believes that the contraceptive treatment works better than condoms and is as effective as the female pill. "If this trial is successful I imagine there would be interest in looking at marketing the injection as a male contraceptive,” the Sun quoted Anderson as saying.
“The surveys we have done have been very positive and particularly positive from women. A lot of women who have taken on the reproductive and contraceptive burden think it's maybe time men took their turn. Even if not all men would be keen on an injection, there would definitely be a market to make such a treatment available," he added.
Anderson further said that no serious side-effects had been predicted from the year-long trial, run by the World Health Organisation. The effects of the injections were also assured to be fully reversible.
A spokesman from the Family Planning Association said: "It is important that research continues to try to give men more contraceptive choice. But it is crucial that any new contraceptive is rigorously tested to make sure that it is incredibly safe and effective."

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How to spice up love life

Bored with your sex life? Well, then sensate-focused sex is the name of the game for you.

The nice, slow lovemaking where all you do is focus on your sensations, is the new mantra to renew your sex life as you rediscover each other.

Sensate-focused sex exercises involve a series of behavioural practices, which offer variety and increased personal awareness through basic touch.

Originally developed by sex researchers Drs. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated.

Particularly for couples in sex therapy, the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction.

The benefits of sensate focus include, discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover''s body, as well as your own.

Apart from these, going for such exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement.

With such non-demands and pleasuring exercises, couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another, touching and feeling each other''s bodies.

These highly structured touch activities are about enjoying physical contact to the fullest without trying to arouse each other and should not be mistaken as a form of foreplay, because it is the main experience in itself.

Done in several stages over time, they are tailor-made to a couple''s specific issues when working with a sex therapist, reports Fox News.

Couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play.

This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses.

The rules for sensate focus sex are:

1. Breasts and genitals are off limits for the first few sessions.

2. Verbal feedback is limited unless you''re uncomfortable or in pain.

3. Do not try to elicit sexual response (but don''t sweat it if it happens).

4. After each session, be sure to process the experience.

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