Sex without condom is good for mental health

Having sex without using condom is good for mental health, according to a new study.
Professor Stuart Brody, of the West of Scotland University, Paisley, and his colleagues conducted the study and found that unprotected heterosexual sex can significantly boost men and women''s mental wellbeing.
On the other hand, heterosexual sex with a condom is linked to poorer mental health, the study showed.
According to Brody, mankind is biologically programmed to enjoy unprotected sex because it gives couples an evolutionary advantage and maximises the chances of reproducing.
"Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental," the Scotsman quoted Brody as saying.
The researchers studied the sexual behaviour of 99 women and 111 men in Portugal.
 They filled in questionnaires about the pleasure they derived from their sex lives and contraception use.
Using a measure of psychological health developed in Canada, Brody concluded that condom use was linked to members of the sample who exhibited problems dealing with stress.
He found that those who had unprotected sex appeared to be able to deal with stress in a more mature way by taking effective action. They also had better mental health.
However, his conclusions have been criticised by sexual health campaigners, who warned that unsafe sex leads to unwanted pregnancies and diseases.
Tony Kerridge of Marie Stopes International, the leading sexual health and reproductive health organisation, said: "I would have thought that the mental health of anyone would be tested if they found out they had a sexually transmitted disease or that there was an unwanted pregnancy.
"Particularly in the case of casual relationships where there is no desire to get pregnant, advice should always be that condoms should be used," Kerridge added.
The study has been published in the academic journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

Read more...

Emotions good for women's sex lives

Women with high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a new study.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor and manage emotions in oneself and others.
The study by a research team at King's College London showed that those with greater EI had more orgasms. It also suggests that low EI is a risk factor for female orgasmic disorder.
"These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom. This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," the Independent quoted Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London and co-author of the study, as saying.
For the study, a total of 2,035 female volunteers from the TwinsUK registry were recruited, ranging in age from 18 to 83.
The registry consists of adult twins who agreed to take part in studies to investigate the causes of common disorders. Using twins makes it possible to disentangle genetic and environmental risk factors.
All participants completed questionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and also answered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.
Researchers found a significant association between EI and frequency of orgasm both during masturbation and sexual intercourse.
Women in the bottom 25 percent of the emotional intelligence range had twice the normal risk of infrequent orgasm.
Lead author, psychologist Andrea Burri, also from King's College, said: "Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.
She also said that there was a possible association with a woman's ability to fantasise during sex.
"Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner," said Burri.
The results of the study appear in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Read more...

Boost your bedroom pleasures

During the initial stages of a relationship, when the two parties involved are just about getting to discover each other, it is usually not such a problem when it comes to having an exciting time in the bedroom.
But, as you get familiar with each other’s bodies, the sex can get slightly monotonous and in some cases the sizzle is completely lost. However, this does not mean it’s the end of your sex life or that you can’t reignite the passion.
Read on for tips on how you can add some serious spice to your love life:
Just met
Pretend you and your partner have just met each other. Put yourself in a stranger’s shoes and view your partner from a new perspective. This will help you realise that he or she is still very appealing. If he or she is still getting the look from a complete stranger, it means they still have the spark.
On your part you need to find it again. In fact, let him or her in on the role playing as well. The two of you should play a little game whereby you pretend to be strangers and it’s all you need to get that added excitement.
Tease please
Nothing turns on a man or woman more than teasing them. This does not mean you get snide, it means you get playfully flirtatious. For example, you could sneak in little kisses or flirt with your partner while he or she is leaving for the office or do it in public where they know you’re flirting with them, but can’t do anything about it.
The advantage of this is, they know what you have in mind and because you were teasing him or her about it, once you are alone with them, they’ll work the magic.
The mood
If you’re in the mood to make love, do it. What happens often is that even though people might crave being with their partner , they avoid doing so because they might be busy or they feel inhibited. But the truth is, if you feel like it, go get it!
Surprise your partner one day and steal him or her away from their duties for an hour or so. In fact, they might enjoy it so much that they would want a repeat performance once they get home.
Use technology
The internet and today’s fast paced world has helped people in every aspect of their life. So use it to spice up your sex life as well. You can send him or her explicit text messages or emails. However, keep it graceful; there is a thin line between sexy and vulgar and you need to be sexy not the latter.
The email or message will be playing on your partner’s mind the entire day and by the time they see you, it will be very hard for him or her to keep their hands off you.
Forget real life
If both you and your partner are always too busy for each other because of your work, take a break. Yes, work is a priority but you need to balance things in life. Take a weekend off and go to a place where the two of you can forget all about real life and just focus on reigniting your bedroom passion.
Once the weekend is over you can return to your responsibilities, but you probably won’t mind so much because of the fabulous weekend you had.
Surprises
If you have never done anything naughty with your partner, start now. Surprise him or her with a special dance (if you do know how to shake those hips), or in the case of women go buy some seriously suggestive lingerie. Your partner will not be able to resist.
Surrender
One sure way to have a memorable sexual experience is to let go of all inhibitions. Tell your partner you are at their mercy and allow him or her to do whatever they would like to you (as long as nobody is getting hurt).
It will not only help you in the bedroom but once all inhibitions are gone and dealt with, even your relationship will improve.

Read more...

10 bedroom must-haves

Tired of boredom in your bedroom? Wanting to add a dash of adventure to your sex sessions? Maybe it's time you converted your bedroom into a veritable Garden of Eden to add that sizzle between the sheets.
We bring to you a list of top 10 props, which are a must have in every couple's bedroom.
So get started collecting these love essentials and you could be in for some real hot action tonight.
1. Passion oils: Those unaware about the power of fragrances must know that right kind of smell works as a magical mood setter driving passion to new heights. So, a few essential passion oils in your bedroom are unavoidable so that they help you remain surcharged at all moments.
"Natural scents present in aroma oils are of key importance when it comes to heightening sexual attraction. Some scents are overpoweringly arousing aphrodisiacs for women, while others are good enough to bewitch even the most sober of men," explains Dr. Naresh Arora of Chase Aroma Therapy.
Some of the most effective passion oils are: Ylang Ylang, Rose otto, Jasmine, Neroli and Orange blossom. A drop in the diffuser, a sensuous massage or an utterly romantic bath with these passion oils is what you need to spark a night full of action!
2. A blindfold: Big or small – the excitement caused by blindfolding your lover can perk up the adrenaline rush. Add to it the feel of a satiny-silk cloth blind-folding your eyes and the thrill of touching and feeling your lover in all the unexplored places of his body.
You can also play hide and seek and various other tantalising love games using a blind-fold in the most sensuous manner. So go ahead and blindfold your partner to expose him to a sight they've never experienced before.
3. Handcuffs and silk scarves: If you lay your hands on a handcuff, nothing like it...else silk and satin scarves can also be a sensuous help to pep up the temperature. The purpose here is to have soft ties for bondage during foreplay or sex. Just turn your partner into your slave by handcuffing him/her to the bed or simply tying their limbs with something as soft and sexy as a silk scarf.
Being restrained and then loved can multiply the passion manifolds. "I find it really erotic to see my man writhing, struggling and moaning when I get naughty with him as he remains totally under my control, which happens only when I tie him up," says Neerja Mehendiratta, a 27-years-old advertising professional.
Being helpless is definitely pleasurable, even for your partner who's enjoying the mild domination. Either way, it's a win-win situation for both the partners, which adds to the sex experience.
4. A feather or a soft brush: Make your beau your sex slave and convert a mundane love making ritual into a heady passion play. Your partner is at your disposal and you have nothing but your hands to work with. Get into the experiment mode and use a soft brush to paint erotic love strokes on his chest, trunk, back...and anywhere that leaves him panting...tickling...and begging for more!
Arrange for a soft feather and let the playful touch therapy make him lose his senses to you. Men can use the feather to give a sensuous foot massage to their lady love and watch her writhe with pleasure. Or use it on her navel to turn her to new heights of pleasure.
5. Erotica: Forget those erotic movies and check out the nearest book store for sensuous erotica. Listening to your girl reading out pleasure commentary of another couple in action will be a sure shot stimulus for you to put your mind in active mode. "Reading erotica can be a very powerful trigger to fire-up passion.
While it is true that majority of women would rather read erotica and the majority of men would prefer watching it, erotic stories can stir desire and heighten arousal in both genders. Just reading erotica can help you explore your boundaries in a safe and comfortable way," explains sexologist Shivi Jaggi. What more...make her sit in your lap and read, while you can transform her words into hot action! What say?
6. Mirror magic: Of course a full size mirror is a great help while dressing-up. But how about adding a sexual twist? The next time you are making out, position yourself in front of a full size mirror and watch each other undress and indulge in wild moves. The result is bound to be far more rewarding.
Place the mirror strategically in front of the bed and be an audience to your own sexapades, just like 38 year-old, Bhaskar Mahendroo does. "I just love watching me and my partner make out in the mirror. I started the practice four years ago when boredom and monotony had gripped my sexual life, and it worked...it brought an element of voyeuristic adventure and we enjoy it a lot," he claims.
7. Sexy surprises: Anything as sudden like a lustful quickie in the bath tub or an unannounced love note claiming, "You win to undress me tonight!" is a great passion booster. Taking your lover by surprise is a rewarding experience. Tuck in a love note that says – 'get a six on the love dice and you win to live your most cherished sexual fantasy', will simply take your beau to seventh heaven. It's all about how good are you at imagining...wilder the better!
8. Musical mirage: "Music has the prowess to power your bedroom with the right ambience required to stimulate passion and fervour into your love arena," says sexologist Shivi Jaggi. Begin with matching steps on your favourite love song, mind you—distance not allowed here, so get real close. Keep cuddling and pampering each other till you can't resist one another.
We assure you it won't take long before you hit the bed. Some provocative songs we suggest are: Boyz II Men's I'll make love to you , Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack's Tonight I celebrate my love , Savage Garden's - Truly madly deeply and Celine Dion's My heart will go on.
9. Sex toys & lubricants: These are handy nick-knacks in the love game. "A high quality lubricant adds a whole new dimension to the sensations you experience during a sex session. To play it safe, stick to water based lubes wherever possible," suggests Dr. S.K Rai. And if you are thinking that sex toys are meant only for solo fun...think again! All you need to do is use your imagination and they'll come handy when you are eyeing at some fun strokes together.
10. Erotic edibles: Not in the bedroom, but in the fridge for sure! We suggest that you keep your fridge stocked with food that's not just delectable to eat, but yummier to play with. Creams, yogurts, jams, jellies, sauces, ice-creams, honey etc. taste even better when you lick them on your partner's hot bod. Not just this, they are tried and tested aphrodisiacs as well. You can even hand feed each other to get the love feast started.
A note of advice: To keep these love essentials away from the prying eyes of the other inmates of your home, especially kids (if any), keep them tucked away in a 'treasure chest'. Not only will it be fun to fill it...but exciting as well...as you put each of your collectibles to the best use possible! So, keep collecting and keep loving!

Read more...

Four secrets of amazing sex revealed

Want to have a rocking bedroom life with your partner? Well, a new book that can unlock your passion potential might just be of great help. 
‘The 4 Secrets of Amazing Sex’, by Georgia Foster and Beverley Anne Foster, talks about body as well as mind, when it comes to sex. 
“We focus on the mind as much as the body,” the Sun quoted Georgia as said. 
"It’s not a book about sexual positions. Anyone can have sex, but to have amazing sex, your mind needs to be participating,” Georgia added. 
The four secrets of amazing sex are: 
Seduction 
“The first secret deals with how to sustain a heady passion with your partner. Most people assume they need to be seduced to feel sexy – wrong! We first create the desire in our own mind. It’s your responsibility to understand what turns you on. It’s about taking notice of how you are feeling – not expecting a partner to immediately trigger sexual feeling.” 
Sensation 
“The second secret is all about the six senses. Absorb the energy between you and your partner, as well as remembering smell, touch, sound and taste. The six senses are often overlooked in our busy lives, but without them sex is dull.” 
Surrender 
“The third secret is when you feel safe to surrender to your partner and have sex. Thanks to secrets one and two, your mind is ready and your senses alive. You need to feel you want to be there and your mind is present to feel connected to your partner.” 
Reflection 
“If you’ve had fun with the first three secrets, reflection is about looking back on the experience and feeling you want to do it all again. If the experience is bad, people will look back on it negatively and may avoid a repeat performance and lack confidence.” 

Read more...

Are you addicted to sex?

Upon hearing the words ‘sex addiction’, people often connect it with a person, usually a man, who has an incessant need to make sexual conquests, but a true definition for the term is yet to be ascertained. 

The topic is extremely controversial, and even experts are not able to agree whether sexual addiction is a true addiction, with two researchers publishing in 1998 an article entitled ''Sexual addiction: many conceptions, minimal data''. 

Dr. Erick Janssen, the Director of Education & Research Training at The Kinsey Institute, explained in an email that there is no accepted definition for the term. 

"We do not have a generally accepted definition of 'sex addiction.' It was originally approached as involving some kind of ''inability to adequately control sexual behaviour,'' but this is, as you can tell, not a very objective definition," CBS News quoted him as writing. 

"According to some, sexual addiction seems in the eye of the beholder, or in the eyes of his or her therapist," he stated. 

Mavis Humes Baird, an addictions treatment specialist, is convinced that sexual addiction is a true disorder because people are in the throws of an impulse they can''t control, and that there are underlying changes in the brain that cannot be addressed by psychotherapy alone. 

"For example, if one of the partners in a couple is having affairs and they're not a sex addict, marriage counselling or family therapy is very effective. But if they're a sex addict, all the therapy in the world getting at problems in the relationship won't touch the addiction," she said. 

"One of the primary referral sources for sex addiction is couples counsellors who have been doing attachment work with couples for years with the addiction going on unaffected and sometimes kept secret for all those years. 

"You can''t treat the sex problems between the partners until the addiction is treated. And that''s done by a combination of specific treatment protocols, and 12-step program involvement, and sometimes medication," she said. 

But Baird also said that it is not listed in the current version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), and that there's a struggle about whether it will be included in the next edition.

Dr. Herbert Kleber, a professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, where he is the Director of the Division on Substance Abuse, has provided another view. 

"Is it an addiction? I'm convinced gambling is an addiction but am agnostic about sexual addiction. Once you let one of them in the door do you let in shopaholics, kleptomaniacs, etcetera? Where do you draw the line?" he said. 

Dr. Janssen agrees with Dr. Kleber's scepticism-on there not being prevalent statistics on sexual addiction. 

"There are no reliable prevalence statistics on sexual addiction. That is, it has not been measured in representative samples of men and women. A few studies in non-representative samples have concluded that it could involve 5-10 percent of the adult population," he said. 

"Most sex researchers prefer to not use that term, instead relying on terms like 'sexual compulsivity' or 'sexual impulsivity' to reflect people's experiences and actual behaviours," he added.

Read more...