Sex without condom is good for mental health

Having sex without using condom is good for mental health, according to a new study.
Professor Stuart Brody, of the West of Scotland University, Paisley, and his colleagues conducted the study and found that unprotected heterosexual sex can significantly boost men and women''s mental wellbeing.
On the other hand, heterosexual sex with a condom is linked to poorer mental health, the study showed.
According to Brody, mankind is biologically programmed to enjoy unprotected sex because it gives couples an evolutionary advantage and maximises the chances of reproducing.
"Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental," the Scotsman quoted Brody as saying.
The researchers studied the sexual behaviour of 99 women and 111 men in Portugal.
 They filled in questionnaires about the pleasure they derived from their sex lives and contraception use.
Using a measure of psychological health developed in Canada, Brody concluded that condom use was linked to members of the sample who exhibited problems dealing with stress.
He found that those who had unprotected sex appeared to be able to deal with stress in a more mature way by taking effective action. They also had better mental health.
However, his conclusions have been criticised by sexual health campaigners, who warned that unsafe sex leads to unwanted pregnancies and diseases.
Tony Kerridge of Marie Stopes International, the leading sexual health and reproductive health organisation, said: "I would have thought that the mental health of anyone would be tested if they found out they had a sexually transmitted disease or that there was an unwanted pregnancy.
"Particularly in the case of casual relationships where there is no desire to get pregnant, advice should always be that condoms should be used," Kerridge added.
The study has been published in the academic journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

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Secret behind passionate kiss revealed

Ummmms’ and ‘aaahhhs’ are not the only co-partners of kissing, for a passionate lip-lock unleashes a chain of chemical changes that really turn your head, claims a new study.
As Valentine's Day approaches, Wendy Hill, professor of psychology at Lafayette College, Pennsylvania has taken the opportunity to shed light on that most basic of all human expressions of love – the smooch.
In her study, Wendy has found that a meeting of lips can spark a complex chemical surge into the brain that makes a lover feel excited, happy or relaxed. Also, it is being speculated that the hormone release may be triggered directly by an exchange of sexually stimulating pheromones in the saliva.
“This study shows kissing is much more complex and causes hormonal changes and things we never thought occurred,” The Times quoted her, as saying. “We tend to think more about who we are kissing and how it feels, yet there are a lot of other things happening,” she added.
To reach the conclusion, the research team looked at the impact of kissing on levels of two hormones, oxytocin and cortisol, in 15 male-female couples before and after holding hands and before and after kissing.
Oxytocin is known to be involved in social bonding so the researchers predicted that its levels would rise, while cortisol, a stress hormone, would fall. The results showed cortisol levels fell in both sexes, although oxytocin levels rose in men but fell in women.

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Decode your lover's body language

No matter where you bump into your eye candy - at a friend's house, at a bar, a restaurant or even in the midst of a crowded market, the questions remain the same: "What on Earth is he/she thinking? Does he/she really like me? Do I stand a chance?"
But do you know that men and women both are pre-programmed to send out physical clues when they're interested in the opposite sex? A huge advantage of becoming aware of your love interest's body language is that you can now read her mind and predict their next move. Here's how you can understand body language clues...
Her Body
Eye Contact : It all starts with an eye lock, doesn't it? Eyes telegraph unspoken messages and the female species definitely knows how to use this part of their body to their advantage. "I use this trick when I want to attract a guy's attention and no matter how clichéd it sounds, this trick always works!" says Sunaina Sharma, a student. "My first interaction with my wife started through eye contact. She was sitting with her friends on a staircase in college and I was a newcomer. It won't be wrong to say that she literally used her eyes as weapons to trap the prey (me)!" shares Prabhu a corporate executive.
Hot tip : "An eye contact can vary from curiosity, cool assessment to a coy interest in someone. When a girl makes eye contact that lasts longer than a furtive glance, it is a positive move on her part. If a girl looks deeply into a guy's eyes, she's telling him that he's the most charming person in the room. However, a full frontal stare is risky. It may come across as too bold to those men who get freaked out by direct behavior by a woman," says Dr. Upadhyaya.
Exposing : Yes, we know that most women love indulging in skin show, but here we're talking about a particular area: their long and smooth neck. "There was a girl in my office who was infamous for indulging in sex talks with male colleagues. She would always sit with her hair on one side of her shoulder, revealing her slender and perfumed neck. In fact, some of her friends told me once that she purposely did this as she felt it made her look sexy and was a nice way of luring someone for dirty talks," reveals Shailja Thakur, a business analyst.
Hot tip : "When you're reading a woman's body gestures, observe if she tosses her hair over one shoulder frequently. If your answer is in the affirmative, then be assured that the lady has fallen hard for you," says Dr. Akhouri. "It's an indirect act of submission and it not only exposes your neck, but also screams for attention," he adds.
Leg Crossing : The next time you get the chance to sit with your eye candy, observe her leg movements very carefully. While crossing her legs, if her top leg always points in your direction, treat it as a win-win situation. "I personally feel that a woman's whole personality changes as soon as she crosses her legs... it creates a goddess-like aura around her. On my last date, the girl sat with her legs crossed sexily all through the date and occasionally rubbed her thighs. Not only did I got broad hints, but it also was a big turn on for me," says Manu Vohra, a marketing manager.
Hot tip : According to Dr. Upadhyaya., "Leg crossing is suggestive of a nervous or provocative gesture. Often, woman can't help crossing their legs in front of the guy they have the hots for. It is a subconscious gesture that clearly says a man is getting on to her."
Arm Crossing : Crossing of arms by a woman has numerous meanings. "The receptionist in my old office used to sit with her hands and legs crossed every time I was around. Initially, I thought her to be an arrogant lass, but it was only when she asked me out one day that I realised what that meant," says Sagarmani Dhakal, a corporate executive. "The best way to highlight your assets in front of a man is to cross your hands right below your chest and the guy is bound to notice you!," suggests Puja Khanna, a marketing executive. "Whenever I want something more from a guy than just talking and shopping, this is the trick that I apply," she quips.
Hot tip : "Crossed arms signal a woman's vulnerability and it can also be a way of telling a guy that she doesn't like him and doesn't want him around at all. Crossing of arms over her chest is also a clever way of drawing attention towards her assets," explains Dr. Upadhyaya.
Leaning : If you catch your ladylove practically leaning towards your shoulders most of the times she's around you, there is very little chance that she is not madly in love with you! "I went with my colleague for a movie and throughout the film, I could feel her hair on my neck and shoulders. The hint was enough for me to understand that I wasn't a mere colleague for her anymore," says Sunny Kudav, a programmer.
So the next time you want your guy to know he means a lot to you, just put your head on his shoulder, close your eyes and relax! "When my husband and I were just friends, and wanted to graduate to the level of lovers, I kept dropping hints like these. I would quietly lean over his body and say nothing. I wanted him to know that I was dependent on him and that his company was soothing and that life without him would now be difficult," says Shailja Sharma, a housewife.
Hot tip : "There is nothing more pleasurable than to make your love confession indirectly to your man. If a woman leans on a man, it's a sign of acceptance. It means she thinks the guy is dependable and trustworthy. She has found in you her dream man," tells Dr. Akhouri.
HIS BODY
Eyebrow flash : Pay attention to your crush's eyebrows the next time you meet him, for this gesture can convey his likeability for you. "Whether you walk the corridor of a corporate office or go shopping in a crowded street, you will find at least a dozen men staring at you with their raised eyebrows. This gesture is too obvious to go unnoticed," says Drishika Chowdhry, a model.
Hot tip : "When the person we're attracted to comes before us, our first reaction is that of raising our eyebrows", says Dr. Pramod Upadhyaya. "It lasts about a fifth of a second and it happens to everyone," he adds.
He's checking out your body : His eyes take a tour of your body, stopping for a moment to scan the sexiest parts. "Guys do this all the time. I remember a guy from final year whom I dated for a couple of months. He would make it a point to scan my body as soon as I entered the class. And the strangest part was that he would want to me see his act," holds Ritu Rauthan, an MCA student. "If one wants to end up in bed with a girl, he needs to throw strong signals and the best way to do it is to let her see you when you are exploring every part of her body with your eyes," says Vishal Khandelwal, a web designer.
Hot tip : "When a guy lets you see him checking out your body, it's a way of indirectly telling the opposite sex: 'I'm considering you as a sexual partner'," says Dr.Tapas K Akhouri, a body language trainer.
His hands are on your body : This means the guy is subconsciously drawing your attention to his assets. Whichever part a man aims at is the most meaningful part to him. "My boyfriend used to position his chest towards me while talking and sometimes he would put his hands in his back pockets and walk. When we grew close he told me that these were the areas where he loves my touch the most," says Anu, a hotel receptionist.
Hot tip : "Guys generally do this to highlight their physical size and body confidence," mentions Dr. Upadhyaya. "Men point at their best sexual assets and at the parts of the body where they would most like to be touched. For example, if during a conversation, he stands with his hands on his hips, he wants you to touch and admire his bottom," he adds.
He'll start playing with circular objects : Ever wondered why? They remind him of a woman's assets. "My best friend had a habit of fiddling with rolled magazines, newspapers, paper weights and any round object he could lay his hands upon, whenever we were together. Once he caught me in private and tried to get physical. I was bewildered. Later I read about this body language cue in a magazine and realized what his gestures meant. He always had sexual thoughts on his mind," says Priya, (name changed on request), a BPO worker.
Hot tip : "Men sometimes start playing with round objects while talking to the girl they have a liking for. They may squeeze a glass or start rolling it. The reason being their sexual inclination towards that particular girl," explains Dr. Upadhyaya.
He touches his face a lot : One of the ways in which a man's body speaks of his ardent feelings is the way he touches his ears, rubs his chin and pats his cheeks with the back of his fingers in front of his lady love. "I touch my face and neck quite a lot in front of the girls I have the hots for. It is something that happens involuntarily with me...mostly when I am nervous," says Jitender Bharadwaj, a BPO employee.
Hot tip : "It's a mix of nervousness and excitement. Attraction is a dangerous matter and our body can knowingly or unknowingly reveal it in ways that are quite unfamiliar to most of us. Out lips and mouth become sensitive to touch and other stimulations," says Dr. Akhouri.
Source:timesofindia

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Comfort zones for sex

If boredom is setting into your relationship and causing doldrums in your sex life, it's time to shed your inhibitions and get more experimental to enhance sexual pleasure.
While you may have already indulged in different kinds of love-making with your partner, it's important to ensure the right settings to make the most of a night of passion. Be it the bedroom ambiance, surrounding items, lighting, aroma or anything that helps boosting your sexual desire, the decor of the room must be in accordance with your mood and the kind of sex you want to indulge in.
Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma elucidates, "Sex is a natural need for all human beings. But there has to be appropriate arousal for a night of passion and the environment, ambience and bedroom settings play a major role is stimulating your sexual hormones. Just like we eat when we are hungry, similarly, there has to be a sex drive and a physical desire to make you indulge in sex and it come from various things in the pleasure playground."
Couples indulge in sex for various reasons. Some want to experiment and try out new things in bed, while others love seeing their partner experience heights of pleasure. There are others too who love pampering their partner through diverse forms of sex.
Here are various settings that can enhance your sexual camaraderie.
Create an innovative environment during experimental sex
As the name suggests, an experiment signifies something creative and out-of-box, so it could be a wild sexual stint. Couples opting for experimental sex aim to bring back the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. No matter how long they've been into their relationship, there is a need to have an Earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert suggests, "When it's about being experimental, try out just about everything. From the sofa to the floor, living room to the kitchen, bathtub to the garden, let your imagination take over completely. Enacting a porn star or a pole dancer act could take your spouse by surprise. Having meals in a semi-clad state will ignite your partner's erotic side. Keep sexual props like whips, chains, pompoms and streamers handy to add to the mood."
Pamper your beau during make-up sex
Make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of an ugly argument, so if you had a gut-wrenching fight with your spouse, there can be nothing better than indulging in a sexual reconciliation. While the act gives you several chances to say 'sorry' to your partner, don't forget the right ambiance is e a blessing in disguise. Not only it will make your partner feel pampered, but also let you gradually descend towards a sex romp.
DO IT RIGHT : Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma adds, "Keep a nice musical show piece, preferably a couple doing ball dance, alongside the bed that makes a chiming sound to add to the soothing aroma that you wished to create. Also, a lavish chandelier placed right above your bed can create the right combination of light and shadow. Also, decorate the room with flowers, place some surprise gifts for your partner, use satin bed sheets, heart shaped pillows etc that create a perfect atmosphere that makes your partner forget the fight and enjoy the sexual gratification."
Keep it simple foe necessary sex
Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good
about your sexual prowess. A sexual act that most couples perform as a vital part of a long-term relationship can also lead to special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift your sagging spirits.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita says, "Just keep the settings simple. Stick to a conventional bedroom setting with a nice bed sheet and some scented candles boosting your sexual desires. A prolonged foreplay in or outside the bedroom area can gear you up for a gratifying act in bed. Indulge in a quick session of reading the Kamasutra to master new sex positions or watch a porn film together to set the mood for such 'necessary' sexual experiences. Remember, wearing saucy lingerie can also hit the right spot to woo your partner."
Sex on my mind on vacation
When it's about a sexual getaway, forget all domestic anxieties back home, as carrying them along will only decrease your sexual pleasure. Plan to have sex in a romantic locale that allows you to rediscover each another in a new light. Leave your laptop behind, turn the cell phone off and relax to make the sex better.
DO IT RIGHT : Gitanjali explains, "The perfect settings for recreational sex includes first indulging in a candlelit dinner with the right mix of aphrodisiacal food and wine, which you normally do not consume at home. A salsa dance session can further evoke your erotic senses, coupled with some sexual images placed appropriately on the walls of your room. Ideally try and opt for a room with a romantic or spectacular view of a lake or a mountain."
Bring vigour back during solace sex
Sex, undeniably, is the best remedy when you are feeling miserable, dejected, anguished or lonely. Sexual acts to relieve your tensions are more emotional, more engaging and possibly more expressive and thus the focus is more on cuddling, rather than on climaxing. Since couples look forward to intensifying their bond, the ambience during solace sex can really make a difference. Forget the regular bed; why not try it out in the bathtub?
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita agrees, "Use scented warm water, adding rose petals to set the mood, Furthermore, a hot shower together with your partner stimulates the sex hormones and also gives a chance for intimate moments. Lastly, a sensuous massage either with a chocolate spa or aroma oils can help in calming your tensed mind and thus giving you more comforting pleasure."
Keep it private for racy sex (one night stands)
Most couples would deny this, but love takes a backseat and it's the lust that comes to the forefront during a racy one-night stand. The lack of emotional attachment makes it easier for couples to climax.
DO IT RIGHT : There is something wildly erotic about the back seat of your car, or a dark stair case when you are in the throes of a quickies. The stimulation from the fear that you maybe caught red-handed leads to a lot more of experimentation, including oral stimulation. Get down and dirty, throw back your latent inhibitions and perk up the pleasure.

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Myths about low sexual desire

There are lots of moments in life when you seem to be the only one craving for sex and your partner just doesn't seem interested enough.
Most couples have faced this situation sometime or another in their sexual life even as the sex nosedives and vanishes for days/months and in worst case scenarios maybe even for years. Learning to recognise the symptoms behind a low sex drive helps to get out of the sticky situation. Here are the most common myths about your low sexual levels:
Myth 1: Too much stress leads to low sex drive
Banker Rohit Khanna complained about high stress levels to his partner. "I was having a tough time with my boss in office. That affected my interest in sex, but Aradhana just wouldn't understand. We ended up fighting, with my wife accusing me that I just wasn't interested in her anymore and I was put off by the thought of indulging in sex with her. Finally, we both had to visit a counselor who helped us see the problem for what it was. It was also a time when I had begun to doubt my own sexual prowess. So yes, it was extremely traumatic."
Beat it: Psychologist Poornima Adhikari explains, "Couples often go through high and low phases in their sexual desires. It could be triggered off by anything and stress is most often one of the major reasons for a lack luster sexual life. The hectic lifestyle of today bears ugly aftermaths and thus couples must figure out ways to de-stress. They should look into common areas of interest that help them bond and find happiness together. And talking about your problems is a great way of lowering high stress levels. So communicate, take out time even if it's just 10 minutes every day to talk about things that are troubling you."
Myth 2: Women's low libido are governed by her hormones
Shraddha Singh, a hotel executive reveals that men often believe that hormones regulate a woman's intrinsic moods and desires. "Anand, my husband always fought with me when I told him that I just didn't want to have sex today. He inevitably blamed it on my hormonal levels, saying that women were victims of their hormones. But that's such a huge misconception. Our hormones are just like our male counterparts too." She adds, "Often, a low libido is caused by eating habits, fatigue, not enough sleep and many more physiological factors. Also it's about our mental health."
Beat it: Adhikari points out that low sex drive in women often stems from how they feel about themselves and how they view their relationship with their partner. So when women complain about a low sex drive, their partners need to make them feel good about themselves. Couples need to sit together and work out how on to improve their existing relationship. The woman must be going through some kind of complex feelings that need to be detangled to take the relationship forward at a physical level.
Myth 3: Medications help to boost low sex drive
According to Dr Swaroop Pandit, Anshuman Hospital, a dip in sexual levels is often
caused by circumstances men/women face which causes physiological and psychological changes in the body. "Often patients seek an immediate solution but it takes time to make them realise that there isn't any immediate cure. It’s better if they could see it very objectively rather then losing sleep over it. It’s important to realise that medications can sometimes have just the opposite effect. So, what is important is to seek out the root of the problem, whether it’s physical, psychological or any other. That is half the fight done."
Beat it: Psychoanalyst Sushant Chauhan points out, "Medication should always be kept as the last option. Patients can often be cured by simply addressing their problems. And more than men, its women today who complain about their low sex drive. There are women who are traumatised by the balancing act that they have to deliver everyday by looking into both their professional and personal lives, so at times they almost give sex a miss. Women also get involved with their children once they become mothers so it takes a while to get back their normal drive. What it requires is some patience, a lot of love and time. These factors can go a long way to cure the fears and inhibitions you have."
Myth 4: Sexual drive works in isolation to our body
Business analyst Deepak Sharma experienced a phase of low libido. Stricken by panic attacks and running to and fro between seeing doctors and meeting deadlines worsened the case. A chain smoker, his smoking consequently saw a heady increase. "I was totally losing control. I was embarrassed to talk about my low libido with my peers and I just didn't know what was happening to me. Some said I should visit a doctor, some said I should try out herbal medication. I was just not in a position to realise what was causing it. I began to drink steadily along with smoking, often going without meals. And all the time I was thinking how everyone saw me as this loser," confesses Sharma.
Beat it: "This is definitely a cause and effect situation. Men are known to give their sexual drive a lot of importance, so it's very natural for them to react in this manner. Men, in India are a shy lot and very rarely come out to address problems until they are pushed by their partners or family members. Firstly, be clear that it doesn’t matter that you are experiencing a low libido level. However, once you face such a predicament, do not aggravate the problem by smoking and so on. It is a fact that smoking can cause impotency, but many people still do not view this as a major problem. So if you are a smoker, kick the habit. If you drink too often, start counting your drinks. Reshuffling your lifestyle, taking a holiday, pursuing interesting hobbies often leads to reinstating your drive," says Chauhan.
Myth 5: High sexual life is equivalent to a good emotional intimacy
Quite often we are taken over by a secure emotional intensity that we share with our partner. And we take that as a guarantee for a fulfilling sex life. Like Shweta Trikha, a struggling model, reveals, "I found a lot of emotional succor from my partner, especially because of the competitiveness that pervaded my work life. He made me feel like we are best friends and nothing could be better then this. But our sexual life was losing its zing. And I didn't know how to get it back on track. Despite drawing so much security from each other, we saw that we were losing steam in bed. That was the time when I hit the alarm bell."
Beat it: Adhikari explains, "Couples often experience moments when everything is going right for them emotionally, except that they are unable to feel a sexual desire for each other. So, instead of getting overwhelmed, go easy. A way out is not to think about having sex and scoring highly in the act. Instead start by just being playful. Forget about doing anything that is normal; instead think of ways to make yourself feel sexy and desired by your beau. The best solution is to feel desired for desire to take precedence in your love life."
Myth 6: If your partner wants to have sex and you don't, then you can make up by showing love in other ways
Confesses
college-goer Amit Nagpal, "I faced this problem with my girlfriend. We would often have these dry spells where we didn't touch each other for months even as my girl craved it. I would try to make up for my low sex drive by showering her with gifts, telling her how much I loved her almost all the time. But there was no satisfying her. She complained about not kissing, hugging and I just couldn't explain that I didn't feel like getting physically intimate. Finally there came a time when I decided to give her a break."
Beat it: "This is a problem that is very common, but never understood. Every couple shares a different chemistry, but it is important to touch and feel each other. Especially for married couples, because even if you try to show your love in other ways, it can't compensate for lack of physical closeness. The physical aspect is more important and can't t be replaced by any other act. So it's best to say that you are facing a problem, instead of trying to hide it by resorting to other means to display love," explains Chauhan.
Myth 7: Low libido makes you less desirable
This is a prevalent misconception that can scar the psyche of a person permanently. Fashion designer Sonal Lal, says," I was engaged to be married, but during our courtship period, I just couldn't do get physical with my fiance. Every time he suggested sex, I refused his overtures as I was unable to feel any physical longing for him. This went on till he broke off the engagement complaining that I was cold and frigid and undesirable. The experience hurt so much that I kept away from men for a long time post my broken engagement. And whenever anyone tried to cosy up with me, I shied away being afraid of being rejected all over again."
Beat It: Explains Chauhan that no individual has the right to abuse their partner who may be facing these problems. "Yes, it happens that we might not feel attracted to the person we have planned to marry. It's important to question the basis of your relationship with your prospective partner then, rather then taking the blame on yourself. As discussed, there could be problems beyond the periphery of normal understanding. And desire stems from feeling good about yourself. First develop a positive image about yourself," adds Chauhan.
Myth 8: Sex is the only thing in a relationship
Gautam Nirula, a sales executive says, "I was always told by my friends that a relationship is based on sex. Thus, when I got married, I concentrated on that. However what I failed to understand was that sex depends on a lot of factors. I always wanted sex and my wife kept on refusing me. And instead of understanding her predicament, I remained angry with her. This resulted in a distance between the two of us. Only when elders interfered and counselled me, I realized what was going wrong. Today; I feel that emotional compatibility, trust and faith in each other make the foundation on which great sex is built."
Beat it: Explains Adhikari, "Married couples need to go beyond sex to get it right in bed. If you harbour anger or resentment about your partner you can't enjoy a gratifying sexual life. Often it's the emotional closeness that is most required. When couples come to me I advise them not to think about their physical needs. Instead they are advised to look out for the things they like/love about each other. And develop their bond from there onwards. They need to concentrate on the positives than seeing the negatives. This helps them to get your passion back.

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Emotions good for women's sex lives

Women with high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a new study.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor and manage emotions in oneself and others.
The study by a research team at King's College London showed that those with greater EI had more orgasms. It also suggests that low EI is a risk factor for female orgasmic disorder.
"These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom. This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," the Independent quoted Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London and co-author of the study, as saying.
For the study, a total of 2,035 female volunteers from the TwinsUK registry were recruited, ranging in age from 18 to 83.
The registry consists of adult twins who agreed to take part in studies to investigate the causes of common disorders. Using twins makes it possible to disentangle genetic and environmental risk factors.
All participants completed questionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and also answered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.
Researchers found a significant association between EI and frequency of orgasm both during masturbation and sexual intercourse.
Women in the bottom 25 percent of the emotional intelligence range had twice the normal risk of infrequent orgasm.
Lead author, psychologist Andrea Burri, also from King's College, said: "Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.
She also said that there was a possible association with a woman's ability to fantasise during sex.
"Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner," said Burri.
The results of the study appear in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

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Refreshing your sex life

According to a latest report, slow lovemaking is the new mantra to renew your sex life. No matter how fun loving or aggressive is your partner, slow and steady always wins the race.
Originally developed by sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated.
However the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction.
The benefits of sensate focus are discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover's body, as well as your own.
These exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement.
With such pleasuring exercises couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another.
According to Fox News, couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play.
This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses.
When pursuing sensate focus exercises, set aside at least 60 uninterrupted minutes in a warm bedroom and one may even enhance the setting with soothing music and candles.
If it helps, take a bath (or anything else that relaxes you). Take your time, over several "dates," and finally get on with the sessions.
Sensate focus sex could establish new ways of relating to each other and partners may find themselves having some of the best sex of their lives.

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More teens indulging in unwanted sex: Survey

One third of Aussie teenagers have confessed that they have experienced unwanted sex, according to a survey.

The survey by the Australian Research Centre for Sex, Health and Society, at La Trobe University, has highlighted the vulnerability of teenagers, especially girls.

The fourth National Survey of Secondary Students and Sexual Health, involving 2926 students from 105 schools in state and private schools, was done last year in all states and territories.

The survey of the sexual experiences of the students, in years 10 and 12 found that the most common reasons for unwanted sex were pressure from a partner or just being drunk.

Researcher Anthony Smith said that, strikingly, girls in year 12 were having more sexual partners and drinking 30 per cent more than they did when a similar survey was done in 2002.

Smith said that the extent of unwanted sex detected in teenagers underscored the need for sex education in schools to better explain links between underage drinking and sexual behaviour that might be accompanied with regret later.

The survey has indicated a healthy awareness of safe-sex messages in teenagers.

Condom and contraceptive use was generally high among those who were sexually active.

Overall, one fourth of year 10 students, and more than half of year 12 students, said they had had intercourse.

Professor Smith said that the average age of the year 10 students was 15 and the year 12s was usually 17.

About a third of year 10s and almost 60 per cent of year 12s reported having had oral sex.

Smith said that it was notable how diverse sexual habits and behaviour were among contemporary youth.

‘‘We are not seeing broad general trends but changes that are gender and year-level specific,’’ he said.

While adolescent girls were becoming more sexually active generally, rates for boys had remained stable or had fallen slightly since 2002.

Today’s teenagers were more sexually active than any other generation, and they appeared not to be embarrassed about asking for information about sex.

A high number - 88 per cent - had actively solicited information from adults and peers. The main source for girls and boys was their mother (56 per cent), female friends (55 per cent) and school education programs (49 per cent).

And 90 per cent of teenagers who were sexually active indicated they wanted to have sex.

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Recipe for better sex: What to eat to add spice

Need to spice up your sex life? All the ingredients you need may be found at your local grocery store.

Like many aspects of health, our sex drive is affected by what we put into our bodies. Certain foods affect the body in different ways. Depending on what you consume, wining and dining a date can induce more sleep than romance. A big, fancy dinner, a bottle of wine and fine chocolates may sound sweet — but such meals are actually little more than empty calories.

To really get your blood going, consider circulation-enhancing dishes. Food that's high in Omega-3 fatty acids such as mackerel, salmon and wild salmon are best. "Omega-3 makes your nervous system function better," says Dr. Barbara Bartlik, assistant professor of psychiatry and sex therapist with the Human Sexuality Program at Weill Cornell Medical Center. "Sex is really about circuitry." Multivitamins and minerals will help, too. Both improve neurological function, which contributes to good circulation.

Humans have sought ways to enhance or improve their sex lives for millennia — and have never been reluctant to spend money to make themselves better lovers. The ancient Romans were said to prefer such exotic aphrodisiacs as hippo snouts and hyena eyeballs. Traditional Chinese medicine espoused the use of such rare delicacies as rhino horn. Modern lovers are no less extravagant. In 2005, for example, according to Amsterdam-based health care information company Wulters Kluwer, Americans spent just under $1.4 billion to treat male sexual dysfunction disorders alone.

Of that amount, Viagra rang up $1.2 billion in sales for Pfizer, or 60 percent of the total market. Among the other drugs trying to find their way into American's bedside tables and back pockets are Levitra and Cialis.

There is a difference, of course, between helping sexual dysfunction and arousing our passions.

Aphrodisiacs, for the most part, have been shown to be ineffective. Named for Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sex and beauty, these include an array of herbs, foods and other "agents" that are said to awaken and heighten sexual desire. But the 5,000-year tradition of using them is based more on folklore than real science. "There is no data and no scientific evidence," says Leonore Tiefer, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. "Product pushers are very eager to capitalize on myths," she says.

Most libido-enhancing products offer short term benefit at best, according to Dr. John Mulhall, director of the Sexual Medicine Program at New York Presbyterian and associate professor of urology at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Mulhall, who also sits on the Nutraceuticals Committee of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America, says, "Every year, we review the literature on these compounds — these nutraceuticals like nitric oxide and ginseng — and there are none that have really been shown to be more than a placebo."

When it comes to sexual function, the placebo effect probably accounts for 30 percent of improvements in men and around 50 percent in women, he says. That means there are a lot of people out there who believe a pill they are taking or a food they are eating is doing a lot of good for them sexually. In reality, their mind is doing all the work.

So, besides renting "The Story of O" and opening a bottle of red wine, what can people do to kick-start their sex life?

For a good time, try soy
One thing they can do is change their diet. Soy, for example, binds estrogen receptors, which helps the vaginal area remain lubricated and combats symptoms of menopause — particularly hot flashes. Studies have shown that soy is also beneficial to the prostate, a crucial male sex organ. However, it's important to note that women who have a history of breast cancer should not eat large amounts of soy, because the binding of estrogen receptors actually increases the risk of reoccurrence.

Foods that promote weight loss also hold libido-boosting potential. "There has been very solid research showing that obesity is a risk factor for erectile dysfunction and low testosterone," says Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, director of the New York Center for Human Sexuality and associate professor of urology at Columbia University's medical school. "Reducing weight," he says, "results in an increase of testosterone, and thus an increase in sexual function."

'Good for your heart, good for your penis'
"From an erection standpoint, anything that's good for your heart is good for your penis," says Dr. Mulhall. Too much saturated fat can, over time, clog arteries and, in doing so, prevent an adequate flow of blood from reaching the genital region. This not only interferes with the ability to perform, but also with sexual pleasure. Too little fat, on the other hand, is also bad.
"You need fat to produce your hormones," says Beverly Whipple, professor emerita at Rutgers University and president of the World Association for Sexology. "Cholesterol is metabolized in the liver, and you get your testosterone and estrogen, which you need for your sex drive," she says. Olive oil, salmon and nuts are optimal sources of the "good" kinds of fats —monounsaturated and polyunsaturated.

According to Dr. Judith Reichman, author of "I'm Not in the Mood: What Every Woman Should Known about Improving Her Libido," medical and hormonal problems are major contributors to sexual dysfunction and a low libido — but so are too much stress, relationship difficulties and psychological issues. Antidepressants, such as Prozac by GlaxoSmithKline and Paxil by Eli Lilly, can negatively affect sex drive as well.
Grab some granola
Improved circulation results in greater erectile response. To accomplish that, go for food rich in L-Arginine, such as granola, oatmeal, peanuts, cashews, walnuts, dairy, green vegetables, root vegetables, garlic, ginseng, soybeans, chickpeas and seeds. Studies show that L-Arginine is helpful for improving sexual function in men. There haven't been studies done on women — but remember, erectile response isn't just a guy thing. "Women have erections too: in their clitoris and the tissue surrounding the vulva," says Bartlik.
Sourse:www.msnbc.msn.com

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Boost your bedroom pleasures

During the initial stages of a relationship, when the two parties involved are just about getting to discover each other, it is usually not such a problem when it comes to having an exciting time in the bedroom.
But, as you get familiar with each other’s bodies, the sex can get slightly monotonous and in some cases the sizzle is completely lost. However, this does not mean it’s the end of your sex life or that you can’t reignite the passion.
Read on for tips on how you can add some serious spice to your love life:
Just met
Pretend you and your partner have just met each other. Put yourself in a stranger’s shoes and view your partner from a new perspective. This will help you realise that he or she is still very appealing. If he or she is still getting the look from a complete stranger, it means they still have the spark.
On your part you need to find it again. In fact, let him or her in on the role playing as well. The two of you should play a little game whereby you pretend to be strangers and it’s all you need to get that added excitement.
Tease please
Nothing turns on a man or woman more than teasing them. This does not mean you get snide, it means you get playfully flirtatious. For example, you could sneak in little kisses or flirt with your partner while he or she is leaving for the office or do it in public where they know you’re flirting with them, but can’t do anything about it.
The advantage of this is, they know what you have in mind and because you were teasing him or her about it, once you are alone with them, they’ll work the magic.
The mood
If you’re in the mood to make love, do it. What happens often is that even though people might crave being with their partner , they avoid doing so because they might be busy or they feel inhibited. But the truth is, if you feel like it, go get it!
Surprise your partner one day and steal him or her away from their duties for an hour or so. In fact, they might enjoy it so much that they would want a repeat performance once they get home.
Use technology
The internet and today’s fast paced world has helped people in every aspect of their life. So use it to spice up your sex life as well. You can send him or her explicit text messages or emails. However, keep it graceful; there is a thin line between sexy and vulgar and you need to be sexy not the latter.
The email or message will be playing on your partner’s mind the entire day and by the time they see you, it will be very hard for him or her to keep their hands off you.
Forget real life
If both you and your partner are always too busy for each other because of your work, take a break. Yes, work is a priority but you need to balance things in life. Take a weekend off and go to a place where the two of you can forget all about real life and just focus on reigniting your bedroom passion.
Once the weekend is over you can return to your responsibilities, but you probably won’t mind so much because of the fabulous weekend you had.
Surprises
If you have never done anything naughty with your partner, start now. Surprise him or her with a special dance (if you do know how to shake those hips), or in the case of women go buy some seriously suggestive lingerie. Your partner will not be able to resist.
Surrender
One sure way to have a memorable sexual experience is to let go of all inhibitions. Tell your partner you are at their mercy and allow him or her to do whatever they would like to you (as long as nobody is getting hurt).
It will not only help you in the bedroom but once all inhibitions are gone and dealt with, even your relationship will improve.

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Single women prefer dogs to men

Single women would rather prefer the company of a dog than men, according to experts.

 Sydney Petcare owner Richard Durant said that more and more single women in Australia were in favour of the four-legged loyal and reliable companion.

 "In the past year 60 per cent of our new business has come from young single women. It''s a growing trend I''ve noticed over the last few years. These are women who live busy lives," The Courier Mail quoted him as saying.

"They want company when they get home. In many cases you''ll find the dog sleeps in their bedroom, and even in bed with them," he added.

Dogs New South Wales President Dr. Peter Higgins nodded in agreement.

 He said: "The fastest growing segment of dog owners in the inner city is young single women. It''s almost like a child substitute. They lead busy lives and they''re not in a relationship. That''s why dogs like Maltese terriers, which are the second most popular dog in Australia and the most popular dog in Sydney, are popular - they''re little and they have human-like features."

Australian Companion Animal Council President Dr. Kersti Seksel attempted to explain the preference.

 She said: "If you live alone, having a dog as a companion to come home to is often more appealing than a flatmate. Owning a dog increases the feeling of safety and security."

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Older women still enjoy healthy sex life

While it said that women become less sexually active as they get older, a new study has found that a large number of women aged 60 and above still enjoy a healthy sex life.

Dr. Alison J. Huang, of the University of California at San Francisco, studied 1977 racially and ethnically women, aged 45 to 80 years old.

She and her colleagues found that 43 per cent of women, overall, said that their interest in or desire to have sex was "moderate to very high" over the past three months, while 60 per cent reported some sexual activity in the previous three months.

Among those in the age group 65 and older, 28 per cent reported at least moderate interest in sex during the past three months, and nearly 37 per cent had engaged in sexual activity during that time, reports The Age.

Fifty-seven per cent said they were at least moderately sexually satisfied.

The study also showed that women who were sexually inactive were more likely to be satisfied with their sex lives if they were older.

Among those not sexually active, 39 per cent reported lack of interest, 36 pct reported lack of a partner,

Nearly 23pct mentioned their partners'' physical problems, and 11pct reported their partners'' lack of interest in sex.

Only about 9 per cent of the women said that their own physical problems were the cause.

In addition, being married or living with a partner more than tripled a woman''s likelihood of having sex at least weekly.

The chances of having weekly sexual activity also rose with a woman''s scores on tests of mental and physical health.

The findings have appeared in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.

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Condoms may soon be history

It may be time for men to split the contraceptive burden with women, for Scottish scientists have come up with a new pill that Bum jabsdrastically reduces sperm count in men.
Professor Richard Anderson, from Edinburgh University, is on the look out for men willing to try the revolutionary hormone injections, containing progesterone and testosterone, to be given in the bum every two months.
The researcher believes that the contraceptive treatment works better than condoms and is as effective as the female pill. "If this trial is successful I imagine there would be interest in looking at marketing the injection as a male contraceptive,” the Sun quoted Anderson as saying.
“The surveys we have done have been very positive and particularly positive from women. A lot of women who have taken on the reproductive and contraceptive burden think it's maybe time men took their turn. Even if not all men would be keen on an injection, there would definitely be a market to make such a treatment available," he added.
Anderson further said that no serious side-effects had been predicted from the year-long trial, run by the World Health Organisation. The effects of the injections were also assured to be fully reversible.
A spokesman from the Family Planning Association said: "It is important that research continues to try to give men more contraceptive choice. But it is crucial that any new contraceptive is rigorously tested to make sure that it is incredibly safe and effective."

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Four secrets of amazing sex revealed

Want to have a rocking bedroom life with your partner? Well, a new book that can unlock your passion potential might just be of great help. 
‘The 4 Secrets of Amazing Sex’, by Georgia Foster and Beverley Anne Foster, talks about body as well as mind, when it comes to sex. 
“We focus on the mind as much as the body,” the Sun quoted Georgia as said. 
"It’s not a book about sexual positions. Anyone can have sex, but to have amazing sex, your mind needs to be participating,” Georgia added. 
The four secrets of amazing sex are: 
Seduction 
“The first secret deals with how to sustain a heady passion with your partner. Most people assume they need to be seduced to feel sexy – wrong! We first create the desire in our own mind. It’s your responsibility to understand what turns you on. It’s about taking notice of how you are feeling – not expecting a partner to immediately trigger sexual feeling.” 
Sensation 
“The second secret is all about the six senses. Absorb the energy between you and your partner, as well as remembering smell, touch, sound and taste. The six senses are often overlooked in our busy lives, but without them sex is dull.” 
Surrender 
“The third secret is when you feel safe to surrender to your partner and have sex. Thanks to secrets one and two, your mind is ready and your senses alive. You need to feel you want to be there and your mind is present to feel connected to your partner.” 
Reflection 
“If you’ve had fun with the first three secrets, reflection is about looking back on the experience and feeling you want to do it all again. If the experience is bad, people will look back on it negatively and may avoid a repeat performance and lack confidence.” 

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Are you addicted to sex?

Upon hearing the words ‘sex addiction’, people often connect it with a person, usually a man, who has an incessant need to make sexual conquests, but a true definition for the term is yet to be ascertained. 

The topic is extremely controversial, and even experts are not able to agree whether sexual addiction is a true addiction, with two researchers publishing in 1998 an article entitled ''Sexual addiction: many conceptions, minimal data''. 

Dr. Erick Janssen, the Director of Education & Research Training at The Kinsey Institute, explained in an email that there is no accepted definition for the term. 

"We do not have a generally accepted definition of 'sex addiction.' It was originally approached as involving some kind of ''inability to adequately control sexual behaviour,'' but this is, as you can tell, not a very objective definition," CBS News quoted him as writing. 

"According to some, sexual addiction seems in the eye of the beholder, or in the eyes of his or her therapist," he stated. 

Mavis Humes Baird, an addictions treatment specialist, is convinced that sexual addiction is a true disorder because people are in the throws of an impulse they can''t control, and that there are underlying changes in the brain that cannot be addressed by psychotherapy alone. 

"For example, if one of the partners in a couple is having affairs and they're not a sex addict, marriage counselling or family therapy is very effective. But if they're a sex addict, all the therapy in the world getting at problems in the relationship won't touch the addiction," she said. 

"One of the primary referral sources for sex addiction is couples counsellors who have been doing attachment work with couples for years with the addiction going on unaffected and sometimes kept secret for all those years. 

"You can''t treat the sex problems between the partners until the addiction is treated. And that''s done by a combination of specific treatment protocols, and 12-step program involvement, and sometimes medication," she said. 

But Baird also said that it is not listed in the current version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), and that there's a struggle about whether it will be included in the next edition.

Dr. Herbert Kleber, a professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, where he is the Director of the Division on Substance Abuse, has provided another view. 

"Is it an addiction? I'm convinced gambling is an addiction but am agnostic about sexual addiction. Once you let one of them in the door do you let in shopaholics, kleptomaniacs, etcetera? Where do you draw the line?" he said. 

Dr. Janssen agrees with Dr. Kleber's scepticism-on there not being prevalent statistics on sexual addiction. 

"There are no reliable prevalence statistics on sexual addiction. That is, it has not been measured in representative samples of men and women. A few studies in non-representative samples have concluded that it could involve 5-10 percent of the adult population," he said. 

"Most sex researchers prefer to not use that term, instead relying on terms like 'sexual compulsivity' or 'sexual impulsivity' to reflect people's experiences and actual behaviours," he added.

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How kissing boosts sexual satisfaction

When it comes to sexual satisfaction, kissing may be the perfect way to begin with. Kissing is rated as one of the most romantic acts a couple can engage in, reports Fox News. 

Two people can exchange a great deal of information when their lips meet; it's a major mate assessment tool, often making or breaking how far things will go in a sexual situation. 

Here's what a kiss can do: 

1. Promote sexual access - Males in particular use it as a way to seduce romantic partners. 

2. Induce bonding - Making out is a sign of commitment, especially in the unconscious willingness to risk contracting illness or death. 

3. Show your genuine desire and love for another. 

4. Invite reconciliation, helping lovers to reunite after a fight. 

5. Trigger sexual desire with the exchange of testosterone. 

6. Spike dopamine in the brain, which is associated with romantic love. 

7. Cause sexual excitement, which may increase levels of oxytocin in both men and women.

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Secrets of great sex at all ages

Loved crazy positions in your twenties, tried dress-up in your thirties and joined the mile-high club in your forties?

Then you are not alone. On our sexual journeys, the majority of us will try out different turn-ons in the quest for a perfect sex life through the ages.

And, according to sexpert Tracey Cox, our beside manner trends are pretty standard all over the country.

Here, we look at her findings on sex at different stages of our lives, taken from the bestselling book, Sextasy. He can't stop thinking about sex

Eighty-five per cent of 20- to 30-year-old men think about sex every couple of hours.

She's had same-sex fantasies or been bi-curious. Imagining what it would be like to make love to another woman is nearly always one of the top three female fantasies.

Statistically only 4 per cent of women tick the 'had a lesbian experience' box in surveys but in my experience, it's way, way higher than that.

There's plenty of incentive: A 2006 study of nearly 2000 people discovered that 76 per cent of women who slept with women reached orgasm (for women with men, you are pushing it at 50 per cent).

Lesbians are also the least promiscuous group and consistently report the highest sexual satisfaction.

Almost everyone's tried 'The Wheelbarrow'

This is the age and stage where most of us experiment with positions - the more athletic and bonkers - the better!

About one in 10 people have had a threesome And most of you did it in your early twenties.

Threesomes and moresomes aren't quite as common as you think.

The majority of people who've had them try them once or twice, then go back to one-on-one sex.

The less you know the people involved, the more likely you are to see it as a positive experience. It's also likely that you'll visit a strip club or lapdancing club - with your friends but increasingly often with your partner - at some point in your 20s.

Almost all of you have had sex outside

A throwback from our teens - when we did most of our sexual experimentation behind the bike shed, in the bushes, or in the back of a car - most of us will have sex somewhere semi-public in our thirties.

Under the cover of darkness in a park, on a beach, or in your own garden are the top choices.

Sex in the shower and sex in a hot tub is also popular.

Some of you will try bondage, blindfolds and spanking

Around 20 per cent of thirty-year-olds spice up their sex life with this kind of thing in your thirties

Either you or your partner have had your hands tied together to a chair or four-poster bed on a dirty weekend away.

Lots will continue to enjoy tying each other up but only 5 to 10 per cent of the population will go on to more serious S&M.

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In Taiwan, lengthy penis is no reason for divorce

A Taiwanese woman, who reportedly asked for divorce from her husband because his penis was too long, has been refused after a request to measure the man’s manhood was denied. 

According to the Sin Chew Daily, which quoted a newspaper report from Taiwan, the woman, in her second attempt to divorce her husband, said that she had to bear with the pain whenever she had sex with him. 

When the matter was brought up in the court recently, the judge called in a doctor to determine the length of the man’s penis. 

The request was, however, denied as the length of a man’s intimate part was “very subjective”, and the judge rejected the woman’s petition and ordered her to return to her husband. 

The woman said that they were married in 1995, and she applied for a divorce 10 years later, but the application was rejected the first time, though the reason for it was not very clear. 

“I have never measured it before,” the Star Online quoted the man as saying about the complaints his wife made regarding the length of his penis.

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Clear the air about first time sex

The first time you have sex, it’s not all smooth sailing. In fact, many fears are attached to it. Dr Mahinder Watsa tells you what to expect (and what not to expect) the first time you get intimate with someone.

There’ll be many a slip 

Everybody wants their first time to be perfect. Some even envision it to be some kind of fairytale moment. Nothing wrong with that, but one should know that there could be slip-ups, all the same. The man often wishes intercourse to last longer, but if he achieves orgasm early (presumably due to a rush of excitement), it is okay! Some may even fail to achieve an erection and in that moment of disappointment, label themselves as not being ‘up to the mark’. If that is what you think, it is a big mistake. You can always end the session with ample foreplay. If things don’t go as planned in the very first time, there’s always a second time. If a man can achieve an erection during masturbation, he is normal. So just relax and go with the flow.

Yes, it hurts, but wait 

For women, the first time can be a little painful, but hang on. It’s not the pain that they must dread. In most cases, the pain is almost like that of finger prick. However, it’s the fear of pain that makes things worse. The hype surrounding the pain often induces fear in women, resulting in spasms at the slightest touch. This is where it is important for the partner to step in. Firstly, ensure she feels comfortable with you. Ample foreplay is a must to get the vagina lubricated. Start with inserting a finger to rupture the hymen,
and then slowly, proceed towards intercourse. The key is to take it slow.

Bleeding? Maybe. Maybe not 

That a woman must bleed during her first intercourse is undoubtedly the most misguided notion people harbour. The bleeding occurs when the hymen splits. However, why is it so difficult to understand that the same hymen which is considered a mark of virginity by many men can also split due to other reasons? Rigorous exercises such as cycling can split the hymen. In some cases, it may even be congenitally absent. The hymen can also rupture, when women masturbate. Bleeding, or no bleeding, the fact that you are close enough to your partner to get sexually intimate demands you also put a certain level of trust in her. Doubts, if any, should be cleared right in the beginning, and not in the bed.

Contraception can fail 

One wrong move is enough to invite unwanted pregnancy. Don’t rely on withdrawal method or the safe days of the woman’s menstrual cycle. Unmarried couples must use condoms. If marriage is around the corner, the woman can visit her gynaecologist a month before the wedding. The doctor will put her on oral contraceptives, safe enough to see the couple through the honeymoon phase. Later, the couple can consult the gynaecologist and select the contraceptive method that suits them the best.

It will get messy 

When body fluids are exchanged, it can get quite messy. But there are no two ways about it. Either you do it, or you don’t. So don’t fret too much about unwanted stains and keep an extra sheet handy.

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Smart people are sexier

A person''s sex quotient lies in his or her brain, according to a study that suggests that being smart is sexy, and the smartest males get the most partners.

Through a study on Australian birds, a team of researchers have lent support to the idea that our big human brain evolved because it is a sexually attractive organ, not just a useful one.

According to the above theory, signs of intelligence - such as creating art, music, and humour - could have made the brainiest people luckiest in love.

The theory was hugely discussed in the book ''The Mating Mind'' by an evolutionary psychologist, Geoffrey Miller, almost a decade ago.

Jason Keagy, of the University of Maryland in the US, said that testing the theory in humans was very difficult, and thus he chose to observe satin bowerbirds at Wallaby Creek in NSW instead.

He claimed that Bowerbirds are intelligent.

''But they''re not as complex as humans," Stuff.co.nz quoted him as saying.

Keagy could get an accurate record of the male birds'' sexual success by videotaping their every movement.

''They can''t really lie to us," he said.

Known for their fascination with blue objects, bowerbirds have a strong aversion to red.

In the first IQ test, the researchers placed three red objects under a clear plastic container in their bower, and found that the smartest males could remove the cover and carry away the offending objects in 20 seconds.

''''It looks pretty simple, but some weren''t able to do it,'''' said Keagy.

In a second braintwister, he glued a red object down and observed that some bowerbirds kept on trying in vain to pull it out, while the brighter ones quickly twigged this was impossible and covered it with leaves.

The males who failed the plastic container test were spurned.

''''No females were mating with them,'''' said Keagy.

However, the smartest birds attracted up to 20 female partners a season.

''''This is the first evidence [in any species] that individuals with better problem-solving abilities are more sexually attractive,'''' he said.

He claimed that greater intelligence could allow male bowerbirds to woo more females because they can build more elaborate bowers, are better dancers or are more responsive to subtle cues from the females during courtship.

Alternative theories to the mating mind include that our large brain evolved because it was advantageous for hunting or living in social groups, and cultural creativity was simply a fortuitous by-product of the struggle to survive.

The study has been published in the journal Animal Behaviour.

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